


Learning to Fall

by superhiki



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Becoming a Criminal, Coming of Age, Gon POV, Lots of Gon and Hisoka interactions, M/M, Multi, On both counts it is Gon with feelings, One sided HisoGon, One sided KuroGon, Underage Drinking, circus AU, vague pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:01:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4196502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superhiki/pseuds/superhiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gon, a young man with boundless enthusiasm, walks willingly into the jaws of a traveling circus. The catalogue of his travels is highlighted with self discovery and moments of deep regret when his willingness to help others puts him into dire situations. He meets many wild, beautiful, and caged beings of varied talent who are shackled to one another underneath the protection of the Phantom Circus' tent. By breaking into this secret world will Gon survive unscathed? Will he even be able to leave?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ACT 1 - Lord, Let Me Bring Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **PREFACE  
>  Please read!**
> 
> Hi there everyone. I’ll keep the intro post short. This is a writing and narrative exercise I’m doing for fun in between work and looking for other jobs. I can’t promise steady updates but I don’t like to leave things unfinished so you can expect an ending. I’ve got good, actually talented writer friends to help beta this monster and at the time of writing I’ve got 90k words on paper. As far as what you can expect in this fic... Mature rating is for violence. Romance will mostly be one sided and the focus is purely on Gon’s interaction with this weird amalgamation of people.
> 
> Warning: If you are the type who doesn’t like bad things happening to good people, leave now, haha.
> 
> Really should have added this earlier. Let’s define this AU! It doesn’t take place in Hunterverse in the sense that there is no Nen or Hunters, and as a running joke I call this the AU where Hisoka doesn’t fight. Honestly that is the strangest thing about this AU.   Instead of living on Whale Island Gon lives on the coast of Sahelta (same country as Yorkshin ) am I’m playing off the idea that this circus he winds up in travels around a country varied geography. I’m actually researching different climates, flora, and fauna for each place the circus stops based on certain places in America, haha. They’ll travel south during the winter and north in the spring, all over the place and what not.
> 
> Time period is more like a developing nation moving to 1st world status. Technological boom in the form of cars and trucks, the very first use of phones in metropolitan areas and in wealthy homes, print is still the most major form of news with radio gaining status on a local level. Think turn of the century America with elements of advanced travel (cars, trucks, gas stations and interstates/freeways/highways).
> 
> This story is written from close 3rd person perspective. You, as the reader, will only ‘hear’ Gon’s thoughts while the feelings and motivations of others is gathered only from observation. So, without further ado, my fic!

“-But Aunt Mito, it’s only in town for one more night..!” he whined, cheek against the dinner table as his legs kicked wildly beneath him. “Please, please, may I go? It’s even my birthday! I don’t want any other gift..!” 

From where she stood at the sink Mito Freecs let out another big sigh and felt Gon’s will slowly outdoing her own. For any other child the circus would be a delightful day trip that would inspire wild dreams and play centered around taming strays and vaulting clumsily over barrels and fences. Gon, however, would take that to the extreme. If he saw the human skill on display at the circus for himself he would be attempting to eat fire before sunrise the next day. She knew it wrong to discourage Gon’s zest for learning but also considered the fact that there was nothing she could say to discourage him anyway. Even if Mito tore down the circus herself it wouldn’t dampen her nephew’s unbridled enthusiasm. 

Still.

“You may go into town, Gon, and see when the showing time is tonight. If it’s not too late after supper you-” She turned before finishing and saw her nephew gripping onto the table with such force it might break, his mouth gaping open like a fish, “-May go.” 

Gon yelped and sprung up with both feet on his chair, giving a cheer before sitting down suddenly and apologizing as Mito gawked and waved him back down. 

“I’ll go right after I do my chores!” he cried, asking to be excused from the table before tearing through the house, his excitement making his tasks quick but done well with added determination. Before Mito could do much else except warn him not to talk to strangers, Gon was dashing into town, practically flying down the winding road that would take him there. 

Under the cool ocean breeze the rays of the sun were dampened, the usual suffocating heat of a cloudless day tempered by the constant tickling wind. Gon chanted in his head to look for a yellowed poster, one printed on pulp and soon to disintegrate when the circus left town, but even his most diligent repetition could be interrupted. 

While the port was always busy there was a condensed throng of people swollen near a fountain, buzzing with cheers and astonished gasps. Under the crisscrossing banners of the town square’s decorations came wave after wave of clapping, competing with the noise of the ocean only yards away. 

Excited as he was to find one of the many posters plastered around town to gather the information Mito wanted, Gon was drawn in by his curiosity and wiggled his way through the crowd until he popped out on the other side of the human wall. In the center of the crowd, performing just before the fountain’s edge, was a slender person in a strange green uniform with long black hair and dark, focused eyes. Their unblinking gaze was pointed skywards as the tip of a sword was brought to their lips and then slowly disappeared between them. Once the hilt of the sword rested against their pink lips the performer threw their hands out gently before them with practiced grace, bringing the crowd to another round of applause. Their outfit left little to the imagination, cut close to their chest and waist with long legs covered in harlequin tights. His focus was on the oddly doll like performer who twisted their wrists elegantly with each sauntering step, but once they withdrew the sword from their lips another performer appeared from the edges, hair fire red and face painted, to applaud the sword swallower once more. Upon seeing this new performer enter the clearing Gon’s eyes went wide.

Standing tall, the lapels of their cropped cape fluttering behind them, a man Gon could only describe as candy coated took center stage. Though his outfit was delicate and colored vibrantly his body under those sugary layers looked able to break marble barehanded. In heels that made him intimidatingly taller the red head strode towards the busy sword swallower and picked up a baton from the fountain’s edge. Giving it a testing twirl in his hands, Gon’s stare was matched suddenly by a lively yellow gaze. The faintest crinkle of amusement shown on the performer’s face when their eyes met and Gon smiled reflexively, excited to see more. Taking a deep breath, the red head opened his arms wide and spoke out to the crowd. 

“Everyone, everyone- Please give a hand to Illumi Zoldyck, the oldest of the Zoldyck brothers..! Such a good performance he gave,” said the man in a light, fried voice, his hands coming together joyfully as the long haired sword swallower bowed after removing the long saber. They swapped places, the tall red head coming to the center of the crowd to address all in attendance and Illumi taking his place beside a stack of flyers. “You can see more of the dashing Zoldyck brothers should you dare come to our show tonight, Illumi has been perfecting something special- say- haven’t you Illumi?”

The addressed performer stood oddly to the other’s left, wide eyes ghosting through the crowd before he gave a gentle, “Ah, yeah.” 

“Your sympathies, please, for Illumi’s poor stage presence,” jibbed the red head as he dabbed away mock tears, “I promise, what he lacks in manners he makes up for in performance.” The crowd laughed and smiled in response to the banter, of which Gon was susceptible and laughed too. While the Zoldyck’s skill was obvious Gon wasn’t sure what the red head was capable of.

As if on cue he began to twirl the baton in his hands, fingers rolling deftly to keep it spinning faster and faster until he tossed it high into the air, gave a spin and bowed, arm outstretched confidently to catch the twirling staff blindly. A round of clapping began and he never missed a beat, the twirling of his wand looking as effortless as breathing. Tossing it again and this time taking a knee before catching, the red head began his introduction.

“For those of you just joining our show- I am Hisoka, a simple performer compared to the death defying members of the Phantom Circus,” he cried out to the crowd, “This traveling band eats nails for breakfast and drinks in the screams of their audience like ambrosia. Should you venture into our tent tonight... You will not leave without wonder. Did they sell their souls to the Devil himself for such abilities..?” 

Hisoka stood and tossed the baton once more, but with a loud pop it exploded into a colorful rain of ribbons and paper squares. He tilted his chin up and laughed wryly behind a catlike smile, golden eyes closing into amused slits. 

“Stay long enough after the show and you may ask him yourself.”

Gon, on his hands and knees between tightly packed adults, was so distracted by Hisoka’s dare that he jumped when a pair of long, green clad legs stepped before him.

“Flyer, please take one. Flyer, please take one,” said Illumi Zoldyck as he circled the rim of the crowd, a small stack in his hands.

“Down here! One please!!” Gon shouted enthusiastically, receiving a paper to his face without Illumi ever turning or reacting further to his pleas.

“Flyer, please take one. Flyer...”

Gon looked at the thin, pulpy print in his hands like it was a hundred jennie bill, honey eyes wide enough to read the entire page at once were it possible. The Phantom Circus, about 3 miles outside of town. Their last show would be that evening, a Saturday, before traveling to the next town printed on their list. A list of performers were accompanied by tiny vignettes of the stars. Kurapika, the animal tamer. Uvogin, the strong man. Killua, Kalluto, and Illumi Zoldyck of the famous Zoldyck family. Many others dotted the page and Gon was becoming more and more excited until his eyes reached the very bottom.

With a pit of despair opening in his chest, Gon’s fists crinkled the edges of the poster when he saw the price of admission. It was nearly a month and a half’s allowance. There was no way Aunt Mito would be able to give him that without well warning. Maybe if he had saved up- but he was always so awful with money- there was no way he’d be able to save up over the year. Gon’s brows knit worriedly and he felt so suddenly left out that he had to bite his lip to keep it from wobbling. He knew it wasn’t a matter of begging or doing chores, either, he and Mito simply could not afford it on short notice. It was the price of a school uniform, of repairs on a busted wagon. It wasn’t cheap, to say the least. 

Gon sat on the ground staring coldly at the paper as the crowd and performers still moved around him, deeply discouraged, when a dry voice called out into the audience.

“Volunteer? Will a volunteer step forward?”

It didn’t take much thought. If he couldn’t see the circus for himself he might as well make the best of the free performance now. Though his eyes stung with the threat of tears, Gon was on his feet and trotting forward boldly, looking a little too serious for a moment until he was at Hisoka’s side. Up close the man appeared even taller and more intimidating, but by taking a quick knee he and Gon were about eye level. 

“How bold you are,” the performer smiled, “Ne, what’s your name?”

“Gon!”

Lips were tugged upwards just a hint more before Hisoka took Gon’s hand and raised it above their heads. “Audience, let’s give a warm welcome to my assistant, Gon!” he cheered, eliciting a round of applauds that made Gon’s cheeks warm with gooey excited nerves. 

“Ah, it’s good someone cute volunteered, this trick always risks getting wasted on an undeserving assistant,” Hisoka mock lamented to the crowd before producing a tiny, colorful packet of gum candy. The crowd awed softly, to which Hisoka quickly responded, “You see, then, right? Some people don’t deserve candy! I don’t make the rules on who does and doesn’t- but you can tell.” 

Until that point Hisoka had been addressing the crowd and though Gon was nervous he didn’t feel flushed or alarmed, but when Hisoka’s attention zeroed in on him Gon’s excitement shot through the roof. He felt like he was really part of the show but also that much of what was more than five feet away from him did not exist. 

“Do you like this kind of bubble gum?” the performer asked, holding the brightly colored packet in front of the two of them and in position for the crowd to see “It comes in a packet of tiny colored squares, looks a lot like confetti, doesn’t it?” Gon nodded and the performer smiled as he tore off a corner.

“Here, have some.” 

With that Hisoka began to pour and Gon jumped to get both his hands out, cupped under the steady flow of pebble like pieces until a small pile was in his hands. Hisoka looked at the pile with scrutiny and seemed unimpressed with what he had given the boy. “That doesn’t look like nearly enough for a boy his age, don’t you think so?” he asked the audience before standing, the torn open bag in his hands, “I’d like to think he should take some home.” 

Gon looked up from Hisoka’s side and watched as the performer wiggled his fingers over the package until the flesh of his fingers met the ripped edge and began rubbing. Like magic the tear repaired itself and with a testing shake Hisoka revealed that the bag had been mended before their very eyes, even the torn off edge was reattached. Gon’s mouth dropped open and he smiled widely as the candy was handed to him.

Golden eyes bored into him which Gon caught after inspecting the package of chewing gum. Upon looking back Hisoka’s mask like face turned away towards the crowd and he commanded another round of applauds for Gon’s participation. 

“Thank you, folks, for you attendance. If you like what you see here and dare to see what more the Phantom Circus has to offer, join me and the others tonight for our last show on the coast..!” With that Hisoka gave a bow and raised Gon’s hand once more to have the boy bow with him. Illumi had made his rounds and was now clapping blankly at the side. At that point several of the audience members began approaching for flyers, but Gon was glued to the performer’s side, glowing with admiration. 

“C-Can you show me that again?” he asked enthusiastically, realizing he was about to get choked by the crowd before hopping onto the fountain’s edge, “I don’t even want more candy!”

Hisoka, who was passively handing out pulpy print after print, gave Gon his attention and hummed, “You’re going to make me earn my keep as a magician- don’t you want to come to the show tonight and see more then?”

A number of complex emotions stirred Gon’s stomach and his beaming dialed back to a pursed smile, but he spoke anyway. “I would really like to,” he began, “Today’s even my birthday- a ticket is only thing I wanted!- But we don’t have enough money for one.” He toyed with the edge of his green jacket sheepishly, realizing it was rude to pester. “I wanna see it again so I can try it myself!... If you wouldn’t mind, that is.” 

The performer rolled his head from side to side, humming in thought before his painted smile stretched and cracks of pink showed under white. 

“Okay~” he relinquished, “But under one condition.” 

Gon, attentive as ever, gripped the front of his jacket and stood glued in place as Hisoka gave out the last of his flyers and turned to face the boy fully. 

“You must come and tell me after which part of the show you enjoyed most.”

Head of spiky hair turning one way then the other, Gon let go of his jacket and dropped both hands to his side, confusion on his face. One of Hisoka’s sharpened brows raised in tandem with the slow realization crossing Gon’s face.

“But that would-” the boy stopped, perplexed again. 

Hisoka’s eyes narrowed and his smile grew more hallowed until, suddenly, Gon gawked and pointed at himself.

“I’d have to get a ticket in order to go!” He couldn’t afford that, didn’t he already say?

“You have a ticket.” Hisoka started, pointing at the packet of chewing gum poking out of Gon’s pants pocket, “Present that to me at the box office and I’ll have it validated as a ticket. Perk of being a performer...”

Jaw dropping, Gon’s eyes bugged and he immediately took the packet of gum out, cradled in his hands as if it were made of solid gold. Eyes snapped from the cheap pink packaging to the grinning magician until he settled on Hisoka’s face, mirroring the other’s winning smile. After words of reassurance that, yes, it would count for entry and, yes, Gon should have the birthday he desired, the boy was practically beside himself with joy.

Hisoka’s sharp gaze leveled but never went soft, over his shoulder the eldest Zoldyck looked on blankly but said nothing and resumed handing out flyers. “Before you go running off, let me show you that trick,” stilled the magician, “-as promised.”

Afterwards Gon was flying back up the hill with as much, if not more, excitement from when he left. Animatedly he told Mito of the mini performance and showed her the packet of gum that was now his ticket in. Unable to contain his enthusiasm and disturbed by the supposedly high price ticket being given to Gon for free, Mito did her best to remind the boy of being safe and that he should return home as soon as possible. 

He acknowledged the warning, but anyone who knew the boy wouldn’t be surprised if he stayed long after hours, drinking in the intoxicating atmosphere of the circus. To that notion, Mito planned on having him beat the rugs clean as an extra chore the next day.

But of course that chore, and all those for the coming year, would go unfulfilled by her nephew Gon Freecs.


	2. Act 1- A Night at the Circus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will utilize time skips. Sorry I’m not clever enough to write certain things, ahhaa. We introduce a few more key players this chapter...

 

Clutching the chewing gum packet close, Gon stood in a huddled queue for a ticket at the entrance of the fairgrounds. Surrounded by families of all ages meant Gon stuck out with his lack of supervision. A few mothers and fathers poked their heads over the shoulders of their spouses and looked left and right for Gon’s kin but always turned away, not wanting to be responsible for the discovery that Gon was indeed alone. He paid it no mind though and shuffled along with the rest of the crowd to the ticket booth quietly, on his best behavior. He didn’t realize it was needed, but Gon’s confidence and excitement would do him very well in the coming moments. The sky turned dusty purple with the onset of night and with a whirl of awe the lights of the circus came on with filiments buzzing loudly over the cheer of the crowd. Washed in golden light, Gon stepped up to the ticket box and was greeted by a tall man with glasses and short dark hair.

 

“One ticket please!” Gon asked from his position at the front, not yet sliding the candy packet towards the man in the booth.

 

Dressed in a white shirt with red stripes and suspenders, the man in the booth tilted his head one way and then the other as he looked about for the adults Gon belonged to. “Hey kid where are your folks?” he asked impatiently, “They’re holding up the line- if they want a ticket they need tobe here-!”

 

Gon quickly revealed his gum package and pressed it against the glass divider, a big smile right behind it. “Hisoka the performer gave me a ticket right here, can I exchange it now for an official one?” he started, which was enough to silence the person in the booth, “Is he around, I’m sure he’d tell you himself-”

 

“No need,” the man at the booth said with a sigh, scanning the crowd for sight of that red headed performer, “That-” he stopped himself from saying anymore, “He’s known to do that. Did you travel far, kid?”

 

“Yes!” Gon enthused, hand still dirtying up the glass it was pressed against.

 

“... Alright, well, it’s better you leave with the whole lot after the show than on your own right now...” the stubbled man relinquished, pushing a ticket on through to Gon “Step inside, keep your wrapper, and try not to get in trouble..!” With a winning smile Gon beat feet past the ticket booth and bounded in through the arching, lit gates of the circus where many families toddled about, fists full of cotton candy and popcorn. Past their groomed appearances and plaster smiles were the edges of the world Gon really wanted to see. They stood before a huge red, gold, and black tent, but just past either side was a perimeter of smaller tents of a similar material. Some were open and the tent flaps pinned back by yellowed posters. Of what Gon could see one boasted fortune telling, one for face painting, and another featured a more familiar face. 

 

‘BEHOLD; THE AMAZING ZOLDYCK BROTHERS.

THE ELDEST: ILLUMI  
THE MIDDLE: KILLUA  
THE YOUNGEST: KALLUTO

SEE THESE BROTHERS FOR THE FIRST TIME  
ON THEIR OWN

PERFORMING ON LOAN   
FOR THE PHANTOM CIRCUS.’

 

Each name was accompanied by a vignette of the brother and at the bottom was an image of the entire Zoldyck clan, 9 in total. At the top most portrait he saw the androgynous beauty of Illumi, his gazed lined sharply in black. Life had been painted into his eyes where there was none in person. Beneath him was two other faces and there were some other mentions of their talent, but Gon didn’t gather the best look as large group exited the tent. From the look of those leaving it seemed the brothers were doing autographs, of all things, as families left ogling at black and white photos in their hands.

 

Gon approached the entrance but saw a loose line forming and a sign that said there was a limited number of photos available- and that even signatures needed to be paid for. Not disappointed but now without aim, Gon turned away from that area of the grounds and headed back towards the middle. Just as he turned another boy brushed passed him, a pale face in the glow of the lights, eyes wide and locked on the tent Gon just left. Flowers were pinned to his shoulders and their cool petals brushed against Gon’s bare, sunny shoulder. The coastal boy was spun about to watch the other leave and felt his brows go up when we realized that he was looking at the back of Killua Zoldyck’s head. 

 

White hair slipped between a tightly packed group and into the tent without stopping. He must have been late to his own show. Gon stared a moment longer before turning away. He supposed he’d see more of the other once the show started and thought nothing of it.

 

Gon avoided where ever there was food as he’d been unable to bring change for a treat and instead traveled along a far flank of the grounds where grass was ankle high and out of regular foot traffic. The air grew cool as night fell and the string lights above bobbled gently in a breeze. Gon smiled to himself, ticket clutched in his fist and from his vantage point sucked in all he could see of the well dressed parade. He thought it weird that few, if any, wore the same plain cotton clothing as he. No clothes with patches, not a hint of sun. Despite living in a coastal town there didn’t seem to be anyone Gon could pick out from the fish market or farm lands. Likely from the price of admission. 

 

Out of place, but unconcerned, Gon hopped away from his spot and watched as the very last of the initial line in filtered past the wooden gates of the circus and headed towards the big tent. From the darkness a few stragglers ran from their old model Fords, kids in tow, towards the gate as the man in the ticket booth stuck his head out from an open door and yelled at them to hurry up.

 

“The Phantom Circus waits for no one!” he called gratingly into the night, “And neither does my break! Step up now!!”

 

Gon was drowned in a sea of tall men in grey blazers and women with up-dos as he filed into the circus. When the crowd finally parted and began heading up the stairs on either side he could see the entirety of the ring. Lights blew out the soft sandy floor and revealed nothing but a red and white striped stand. Overhead was a tight rope, but apart from that there was little else. On the opposite side of the entrance was shut flap shrouded in darkness. As the crowd dispersed and fell into their seats the market lights overhead dimmed. Gon ran to an empty seat in the front row, one of many that were being swallowed up as families shuffled about until there were no gaps and instead a sea of many faces.

 

Once the over head lights dimmed completely the crowd hushed and from two platforms up above the crowd old spotlights had their shutters opened with a loud shuffle of metal on metal. Their white light wobbled across the crowd before centering on the back entrance. The crowd, quiet before, was now dead silent as the back entrance pulled open. From the darkness stepped out a slender man in a black coat with tails and a tall top hat covering his eyes from the light. He spread his arms wide and rolled his head before lifting both hands into the air like a conductor. The pause held just a moment before sound exploded from all around the tent. Gon’s eyes jumped from the man to the nearest source of noise. From where he’d just walked in a horse drawn organ followed, playing loudly in time with several performers that stood atop the carriage as young man with blonde hair steered his painted horses into the ring. From the edges of the crowd the rest of the procession fell into line. People of all shapes and sizes carrying instruments real and imagined cheered and hollered in time with the man in black as he broke through the circling performers and took his place at the striped stand. 

 

Once atop the stand the ring leader gave a bow and as the procession came to a stop he removed his hat and tossed it to one of the performers. Looking up into the lights and the faceless crowd hidden in darkness his youthful face shined with a winning smile as he introduced himself to the crowd. 

 

“Welcome, one and all, my daring audience,” he began in a smooth voice that carried easily over the crowd, “I’m your guide this evening into the world of the Phantom Circus. You may call me Chrollo Lucilfer and it is my honor to start the show.” He gave another elegant bow and set the crowd ablaze with excitement as the procession before him leapt into action. 

 

From there Gon’s attention was captured completely by the twisted performance. And not once during the fire eating, the wild beasts, or the tight rope walking did he ever notice Hisoka missing from the show.

 

\-----

 

As the lights went off, in one final trick, they were bolted back on in one second and the ring wascompletely clear as if a show had never happened. The crowd roared with applauds, though no one was there to appreciate it, and from their standing positions the families and their children began filing out of the tent with renewed vigor. Gon, however, remained seated. Behind those big honey eyes the circus continued. The stakes were higher, the feats more daring. In the circus of Gon’s mind death was always near- but of course skill and talent prevailed. He remained glued in his seat as the crowd shuffled around him, fantasies parading through the clearing tent nearly real enough to touch. Gon’s ears buzzed from the deafening crowd before which only served to further detach him from reality, the high pitch noise a barrier between his thoughts and the direction to leave. He imagined himself along side his favorite acts, self-indulgence at its finest as he swung easily from a trapeze and placed his head in the mouth of a lion. 

 

Not even the star of his own fantasies, Gon imagined possessing these skills for the sake of mastering them- not for the scream of a crowd. To what lengths would he have to go to dance on the high wire or lift several times his weight in a display of strength. It was impossible to master everything, but to Gon that wasn’t a concern. 

 

When the lights clicked off again, that’s when Gon realized he had stayed too long. Jolting up from his day dream the boy headed towards the barely lit entrance and was embarrassed to see the other patrons were long gone. In a panic he remembered too his promise to Hisoka the performer. The man was so nice to have given him a ticket, Gon had to repay the favor and tell him what his favorite part had been! Bouncing out of the main tent and towards the ticket booth, Gon tried hiding himself against it as he looked for someone to ask about the performer’s whereabouts. As if on cue, from the autograph tent, appeared Killua Zoldyck. 

 

The flowers on his outfit looked a little worse for wear, tousled in his gymnastic performance during the show. The middle brother stood at the mouth of the tent with a bored expression as he shuffled through a stack of photographs, likely of him and his family. He was far from the smiling, spritely boy Gon had seen leaping from bar to bar of metal uprights, toying with his older brother’s act in a comedic skit. The white haired boy had stolen a sword and danced above his brother’s head, tossing the blade into the air and skillfully swinging it about his body in a mock fight. It looked like so much fun and got the biggest laugh out of him, Gon knew that when he got ahold of Hisoka he would mention Killua first. 

 

Since the other boy didn’t seem busy Gon went right over and when he was within hearing distance Killua Zoldyck looked up through the darkened fairground at the the approaching figure. 

 

“Hi! Great show!” 

 

Killua stared the dark haired boy down and nodded before speaking, “Yeah. Can I help you?” 

Gon stopped in his tracks, halfway expecting a thank you, but he continued, “Yes! I’m looking for uh... Hisoka?” Gon was disappointed when he expected a thank you- but this next reaction was also unexpected and made up for no thanks before.

 

“Whaaat? You know _him_?” the Zoldyck asked, leaning into his space, close enough for Gon to notice the other’s eyes were a milky red color, “Geez... Well, for your sake, he’s not here right now. Why’dya wanna talk to that clown?”

 

Gon, a little taken back by the other’s frank displeasure, took the question as a chance to show off a little something. “He taught me a trick-and he let me into the show!”

 

Killua gave him an up down and nodded before smirking, “Yeah, you don’t look like the type to afford a ticket.” Gon stuck out his tongue and Killua only laughed harder, “Take it as a compliment- but what was that about a trick?” There was a look on the other boy’s face that lacked belief. It was no deterrent for Gon, though. 

 

Now, he could perform.

 

“Want some candy?” he asked, getting Killua’s attention immediately and smiling as the rest of the trick unfolded. Killua willingly opened his palms and he smiled when Gon poured candy into them. When Gon magically repaired the packet and handed it of Killua’s the other boy’s face became stunningly bright. 

 

“You can keep it, Killua!” Gon smiled, happy to see the other grinning. 

 

“Woah- Thanks!” the acrobat smiled, opening the pack of gum immediately and marveling that it was, indeed, sealed, “You could really have a bit with this. Adults love talented kids. Say, what’s your name?”

 

“Gon, uh, Gon Freecss, I’m from-”

 

“Gon! Hey, do you want to see a tiger up close?”

 

The incredibly pale boy was almost nose to nose with Gon now and his fresh smile was infectious. 

 

“...Of course!”

 

Killua took his wrist and began towards a spot where two tents almost met. As they drew closer to the barrier between the normal world and the one behind the dazzle of the show, Gon held his breath as if jumping into water. With a soft flap they were enveloped in tall swaths of tarp, the air hot and traveling differently in the tight streets of the circus’ tent city. The atmosphere changed immediately and it really was like he was being submerged into a deep sea. Figures with distorted silhouettes danced along the striped walls of their tents, lit by lanterns and celebrating another good show. Warped records played hidden from view, some up beat and others peaceful, as performers unwound in the thin privacy of their personal tents. Killua dashed ahead of him, prancing juggling pins and helping Gon dodge the few average laborers that hung around the junctions of criss crossing foot paths. Looking up he could see strings of market lights, their yellow glow barely lighting their journey, but the Zoldyck seemed unaffected by the low visibility.

 

Finally they stopped by a barrel that Killua dipped his hands into, careful not to spill the water hedrank from his palm down his colorful harlequin leotard. 

 

“Just ahead,” he began between mouthfuls “We can see Tom and Pinky, Kurapika’s animals.” 

 

“Who’s Kurapika?” Gon asked, doing as the other did and having a drink for himself, right from the surface. 

 

“Ah, you might have seen him driving the organ- but you **definitely** saw him with Pinky the bear!” 

 

Gon brightened, “Oh! Where they did math and honked horn?!”

 

Killua smirked, “Ah, yeah, that routine.” The pale boy rolled his eyes and started towards an unlit pavilion where shapes were only discernible from the faint lights around them, structures cut from black velvet and devoid of detail. Killua drew Gon closer and closer and stepped up onto a ledge the coastal boy didn’t even see. “There should be a torch around here,” he murmured, looking around in the darkness before ‘oh’ing softly. With a metallic click light shonein the pavilion, held in a lantern by the Zoldyck, “Nevermind, there’s this.”

 

Gon was facing the boy who could, apparently, see through the dark and caught Killua pointing at the space behind him. With a turn Gon came face to face with a tiger, lounging in a cage that was up on rafters. Its giant head was resting on equally giant paws and when Killua came up beside him the tiger gave a heavy sigh that washed wet warm breath over his face. 

 

“Ooh? Sleepy kitty,” Killua smiled, reaching right past the bars to rub the animal’s nose as Gon looked on in shock, “Tom wasn’t in the show today, so he and Kurapika must have been training all day.” Gon looked on with amazement as Killua bravely pet the beast without an ounce of hesitance and he reached up with curled fingers towards Tom. Killua looked over, withdrew his hand, and then protectively placed his over Gon’s as he pulled the boy’s hand through the bars and over the tiger’s head. Its fur was bristly and dry, like a game animal’s, and warm under his touch. 

 

“W-woah..!” Gon whispered as Killua’s hand slipped away and allowed him to pet the beast freely. He smiled big and admired the resting animal’s heavy breathing. 

 

“Yeah, pet wherever, Tom’s a good boy.” Killua stood close, watching on as the tanned boy rubbed the beasts ears, until he jolted in place and shouted at Gon, “Just not there!!!”

 

With a scream Gon pulled his hand from the cage and jumped a foot into the air, grabbing onto his own wrist in terror as the Zoldyck bent over in a fit of laughter. 

 

“O-oh man your face-!” he gasped, one arm across his stomach as the lantern bobbed about in the other, “Priceless!! I couldn’t help it-” He looked up and saw the tears in Gon’s eyes which made the young performer back pedal suddenly, “I’m- I’m sorry Gon! L-look, Tom doesn’t even have teeth anymore he’s so old!” And just like that Killua reached in and yanked up his black lips, revealing soft gums. “He’s so old we need a hand to grind his food for him.”

 

Gon was still a little shaken, but at the sight of those harmless gums he gave a tiny laugh which brightened Killua’s face and seemed to put the other boy at ease. “I don’t get to joke often, so I couldn’t help it,” he explained bashfully, “...Do you want to play with me? I promise I won’t trick you anymore.” 

 

When Gon nodded, and the other boy shut off the lantern, he was taken further into the circus’ world. Killua held true to his word and didn’t have fun at his companion’s expense, instead showing him around the performance equipment and the inside of tents that usually required another paid ticket. Gon was so wrapped up in their play he barely noticed how tired he was becoming and without being able to watch the moon travel across the sky he had no sense of time. Eventually they played out in the tall grass outside the beaten earth of the circus grounds where the light of the tent city barely touched them. Even then Killua was able to dart and dodge Gon, seemingly boundless energy spent on their play. 

 

Gon began to tire and his head felt heavier and heavier on his shoulders. When he toppled into the other boy and fell on his rear getting up felt like an impossible task, requiring extra effort. 

 

“Ahh... I’m tired,” he smiled demurely as Killua ran over and picked him up by the hand. It was too dark to see the pale boy’s expression clearly, just grey smudges in the inky sea of night, but his tone said enough.

 

“You’re not too tired to play cards with me, are you?” Killua asked, challenging at first, “Come on, you can come play in me and Kalluto’s room.” His next words were an offering. 

 

Gon stilled and looked at his feet, it was getting late and he still had a long walk home. It would be another hour of walking before he was home- and that was if he traveled at his best. Boot dug into the ground and as the weight of sleep pressed harder down on him Gon’s plan changed. He could stay until morning. Mito might be cross with him for not coming home that night but, surely, she would appreciate him staying instead of risking his safety on the road at night. He could run into some dangerous characters, otherwise. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously promise Gon will run away. He’s postponing it.   
> So we meet Killua Zoldyck this chapter, along with Leorio and the residue of Kurapika. Next chapter, ahoy.


	3. Act 1 - Picking Putrid Bones

The air was still cool when Gon felt Killua throw back their covers and slip onto their bedroll. After a tired huff the pale boy deflated and greeted his company with a mumble into a beaten pillow. After a stretch and whine of effort Gon sat up on the tired mattress of pulpy cotton and returned the salutation. It was an hour or so before sunrise, so the world was shrouded in darkness. 

“Goodnight Gon.”  
“Sleep well, Killua.”

Gon sat up and began crawling out of their bed on the floor, fixing his side of the blankets when a question he struggled with before bed cropped up again upon waking. Killua was exhausted from an evening of practice with his older brother, but Gon’s question was nagging and twisted his stomach painfully with guilt. Fists in the old quilt they slept under, Gon leaned closer to his resting friend and spoke.

“Killua?” he spoke softly so as to not disturb Kalluto, who was sleeping on the cot Killua forfeited when Gon began traveling with them, “Do you think Aunt Mito got my letter by now..?” The pale boy stirred and in the darkness of predawn his crumpled form slithered out of the sheets to answer in an exhausted stupor.

“Yeah... But if she sends anything back it’ll... be’ah while...” he mumbled, tired eyes impossible to open, “Don’t swead’it.” Gon looked him over and then to the sliver of pale light that showed in the crack of their trailer door. It had been well over 2 weeks since he had left home, dropping a letter in the mail to his Aunt explaining why he never returned after that night at the circus. It would only be for the summer, he explained, Killua would be his host and when the weather grew cold and the off season began he would come home safe and sound. It was going to be like a camp they could never afford. He’d come back bigger and stronger, Aunt Mito, he swore. 

A familiar knot swelled in Gon’s throat.

“Gon? I can hear you thinking... It’s alright,” said Killua under a layer of blankets, his exposed feet dirty and swollen from hitting each point in his routine over and over until Illumi was satisfied, “You’ve got chores you’can think about instead. Mito’ll get your... letter.” Gon sniffed and rubbed at tears he didn’t noticed until that moment.

“Ah, yeah you’re right Killua,” he smiled in the dark to no audience, “I’ll see you later.” 

The Zoldyck offered a little wave as Gon stood and squeezed through the small hitch they called home. The screen door creaked shut as Gon exited through it and onto a bit of tarp laid out to be the Zoldyck’s porch. Perpendicular to Kalluto and Killua’s hitch was a smaller, more immaculately kept trailer that the eldest brother slept in. A light could be seen on from a small port window. Illumi had likely followed Killua back from their practicing, but despite being up for hours on end Gon could hear him shuffling around the small trailer as it creaked on old blocks of wood. 

Gon moved out of the trailer area where many of the main performers slept inside metal cocoons decorated with their tastes and towards a trough of water out back. It’s surface had a noticeable film of soap that broke apart when his hands plunged into it. The water was freezing after long missing the sun and, as Gon pulled off his clothes to quickly bathe, his teeth chattered the entire time. He’d brought a towel with him, but no cake of soap, so he shaved a scale off of one left at the trough’s side with his nail and used it halfheartedly under his arms and across his neck to stave off smelling bad for another day. He left his hair untouched for another day, wanting to wash it during the day to keep from catching cold while he got to work under the blanket of a still dawn. Drying off his body, Gon pulled on his pants and shirt once more, strapping suspenders over his shoulders when they had once just flopped down by his sides. 

With a snap Gon was off through the silent grounds, tip toeing past drunken laborers asleep upright on stools, to reach where the animal cages were currently located. This fairground was smaller and lacked a pavilion like some of the other so, to keep the beasts in the shade, they were under an awning converted from an old tent and their cages filled with hay to dampen the smell of their waste. When Gon came upon the cages the smell of animal was thick and sour. He made for a lantern and lit it so he could begin sweeping the old hay from their cages. Not allowed to enter them himself, Gon had to twist a push broom through the bars and shove the soiled hay out along the open gaps at the bottom of the three cages.

Tom and Pinky were asleep and their cages easily swept, but Trigger the lion was up and pacing his cage. While waste was a given smell that lingered among the hay there was a sick undercurrent Gon caught around the lion’s dwelling. He growled when Gon passed his cage, arms laden by new hay for the resting animals, and outright snarled, batting the broom, when Gon attempted to clean the cage. Knowing a broken broom would come out of his food should Trigger become more agitated, Gon cut his losses and began moving the old hay with a pitchfork into a more manageable pile for burning later. 

Leaving his chores with Trigger unfinished, the new circus hand made towards the mess hall just as the sky began to lighten. The very first stirrings of the camp could be seen on his walk through the tents. Some of the laborers picked themselves up and out of the way, a few tents were open and performers stretched out in the cold air. Picking up his pace, Gon lit a fire under a fine grate, on top of which was a pot to boil water. While that was getting ready he could wash his hands and chop vegetables to be added to an old stew. That too was placed on the fire and Gon made sure to kick away any kindle that had been blown close in the night. By the time he was chopping up some carrots and potatoes the sky warmed to a purplish blue. 

When the pot of water was steaming he lifted it and poured the pot through a filter filled with coffee grounds. He would have made regular cowboy coffee but Gon saved the circus from grounds in their teeth. Though it smelled great Gon just didn’t have the taste for it, coffee was a bitter, adult drink, and even though Killua could drink it like water Gon thought it tasted like dirt. 

Breakfast was at sunrise but already a few people had come out of the tents to grab coffee or pick off pan cooked bread from the day before. While food was never abundant, the Phantom Circus did not want for it. There were crates of peppers, along with potatoes and other vegetables, at the ready for anyone to take and, usually, some of the members would go into whatever town they were staying in to grab more supplies daily. Though Gon had yet to go off on one of these adventures he was now responsible for making breakfast with the food leftover from dinner. He was given the shift because the person usually responsible was willing to trade making breakfast for planning better lunches and dinners for the camp. He was a tall, broad shouldered man with long stretched ears; not exactly Gon’s first image of a chef, or even someone dedicated to the wellbeing of the troupe, but he was learning looks could be deceiving in this world.

Breakfast was a thankless job, it meant nursing hangovers, hearing about the aches and pains of a poor night’s sleep, it was a time when people gathered to discuss their plans for the day or wanted to drink in the very last tranquility morning could offer. No matter the case, Gon was alone at the helm, barely seen in the peripherals of all his patrons. All but one, really. 

There was one person who appeared to keep Gon there on purpose. 

Suddenly reminded of cold weight in his stomach, Gon saw Hisoka appear at the edge of the mess tent, his hair combed back and out of a pale, stoney face. The furthest corners of his lips were upturned and those Midas eyes of his pointed at the shuffling line for coffee. Gon turned bashfully away, wanting to hide the disappointment on his face.

It hadn’t been like that at all before. Certainly not the moment Gon decided to stay the summer. Bounding up to the performer, who was half out of his white and red costume with makeup still caked onto his face, Gon wanted the magician to know first. He shouted the declaration at a distance, that he was traveling with them now, and it gave Hisoka room to pause. When they were at last face to face he had spoken to Gon.

“Well, who would’ve known my assistant was so ambitious,” he purred, a clawed hand coming down onto Gon’s head and ruffling the stiff hair there, “Give you an inch and you go a mile.” Gon saw the smile on his face, but it felt flat and as their gaze cooled in the silence after those words a stone, imperceptibly small, formed in the pit of Gon’s stomach. 

The stone was heavy now, growing like a weed at every passing between himself and the magician. Try as he might to share with Hisoka his excitement the man was usually like a ghost, unseen during the day and only echoed in stories at night, a tall shadow gliding against the striped walls of the tent city. It gave Gon too much time to ask himself if what his day entailed was yet worth sharing. In a moment like that morning Gon had the chance to wave Hisoka down and babble about what he had gotten up to that past week, but what did he have to share? Gon stared down at the stew he was cooking and tried dreaming to himself the feat that would bowl Hisoka over, but it felt unauthentic. Gon decided he would know when it happened and then he could bound up to the magician and share something meaningful, something worth praise. 

For now he left the stew to simmer and went to scrub off dinner’s dirty pots and pans that had been left in a bucket overnight. 

When that was taken care of Gon scraped the old soap suds from his skin absentmindedly as the sun finally slipped over the tree tops and shone down on the circus. In the light the forrest that surrounded them became more than a fortress of darkness. Mist slithered at its edges and through the trunks Gon could see where light shot into the earth like a thousand arrows. Walking to the west side of camp, where the laundry would be done, Gon wondered what this inland forrest felt like to run through. It wasn’t the same coastal fauna he was used to, trees were older and bigger, undisturbed by hurricanes like those near the port. These grew straight up and down, instead of gnarled and twisted by constant ocean winds. Moss was heavy in the air, punctuated by the sting of sap warmed by the sun. He wondered when he could run through it and temporarily escape from his arduous chores. 

Once at his next station Gon removed his own shirt and half heartedly scrubbed it clean, hanging it up like an off white flag so that others would begin bringing their own clothes for washing. It was always a mixed bag, not everyone needed their clothes done at the same time and some even opted to clean theirs themselves. Of note in that crowd was the snake charmer Phinks who dedicatedly hand washed his performance outfit every Friday. Up close Gon could marvel the embroidered detailing and jewel work. It was surprisingly ornate and gave rise to the question that it was much more than something Phinks wore when toying with snakes in a woven basket. 

But it wasn’t Friday, or even a day when many people needed their clothes done, but there Gon would sit until lunch, when he would do food prep for dinner. The sun climbed a little higher and finally someone appeared. From the direction of the trailer compound came Illumi Zoldyck. He didn’t look like someone who had just woken up so maybe he had been awake this whole time, but then again Illumi rarely looked anything but the same. Apart from his plain outfit and lack of makeup there wasn’t anything Gon could sort into an out-of-the-ordinary category. Bundled under his arm was bedding and the form fitting outfits he and Killua wore to train in.

After he set down the pile Illumi stood and watched as the boy sorted through it. Gon could still feel warmth on the sheets and imagined Illumi yanking them off Killua, much to his friend’s annoyance. Illumi didn’t like him sleeping on the floor and many times offered his own bed to Killua during the day. It would hurt his shoulders, the oldest Zoldyck had said, and would mean he would have to give Killua more dedicated massages to not only work out the usual tension in his muscles after training but to undo poor sleeping posture. Was there anything Illumi didn’t micromanage? 

“Do I need to tell you again how to wash those?” Illumi pipped up, alert as ever as Gon held up their practice attire. 

Gon shook his head. Just as he had done the last time. “Don’t worry Illumi,” he began with a smile, the same smile as before, “Aunt Mito taught me how to treat this kind of fabric!” That was something he hadn’t yet shared, but was a given since nearly every woman owned a nylon garment of some fashion. Hopefully it would be enough to get the Zoldyck to back down and stop belittling his abilities even after always returning his sheets and clothes in pristine condition.

At this new information Illumi’s face remained unchanged but he spoke with surprise regardless. “Well, how very kind of her. That’s very good to know.” Illumi’s voice betrayed his words and the empty stare boring into Gon, “A lot of good it does your Aunt to have taught you that before you ran off, huh?”

Gon’s brown eyes went wide, staring up at Illumi in shock. He felt instantly cold as if blood had been bled completely from his body. At the prickle of guilty tears the oldest Zoldyck turned and left in the direction he came. 

Fists wrung the fabric in his hands bitterly. Gon’s brow was wobbling as he watched Illumi retreat and when the other’s figure disappeared from view he hung his head low and tried not to cry. The forrest was so close. Looking to it he could see wild grasses swaying in the sun, late spring flowers still clinging to their stalks and the swelling buds of summer’s colors ready to burst forth. Gon wanted to run and to find a glen he could play in. Instead of washing himself with dirtied, scum covered water he could fish around in a clear stream and breath in fresh air instead of waste and moldy tarp. He’d have something to tell Hisoka then. Adventure was always waiting for him in the woods. 

Adjacent to the clothes lines, where Gon was moping, was the animal cages. The beast were kept away from where cooking was done to prevent agitation, but tempers were high that morning anyway. Kurapika had gone to tend his animals and was having an alarmed conversation with the man Gon had previously known as the ticket taker. That man, Leorio, was actually a hack doctor of sorts. Like Gon he had lived out of the city and picked up his skills out of necessity. He was trained as a ranch vet of sorts and claimed, half jokingly, that people and animals were similar enough for him to treat both. The two adults fought in the distance, by the cages, so Gon listened in without meaning too, perking up just a little at the lively conversation.

From what he could gather at that distance Kurapika was harassing the taller man over his diagnosis of Trigger’s weird behavior. The lion was still pacing in his cage and both men stood well out of the animal’s reach. Gon faced the two completely to better hear. Their words faded in and out, but when their petty shouting began Gon could hear it all. 

“You told me his breath stinks because he ate spoiled food- and that he won’t eat because he’s still sick! If that were the case wouldn’t they all be sick?!” the blonde barked up at the retreating Leorio, “And he doesn’t look sick at all! Just... Just cranky!”

Leorio, hands shoved in his pockets, leapt at that comment and leaned into the other’s space with new vigor, “He’s starting to remind me of someone else!” Kurapika recoiled and placed a hand to his own chest, offended. “I don’t know what’s up with your cat except that he’s acting like a thorn’s stuck in his paw like a big baby!”

“Astute observation, doc,” the animal tamer fired back, “What will you diagnose next? That he’s a lion?”

At that point the conversation had completed dissolved into a shouting match. 

Gon’s attention was fully on the two now. Kurapika insinuated Leorio wouldn’t properly diagnose Trigger because he was scared of him. Leorio didn’t disagree and instead turned it on the other.

“If you’re not scared maybe you should be the one I’m diagnosing!”

Tears were forgotten for now and Gon was practically falling over himself to listen in. Leorio stomped off to get something as Kurapika stood like a sentinel in front of the lion cage, his arms crossed. When the doctor returned several minutes later he asked Kurapika for some jerky and from the distance it appeared the doctor crammed something through the tough meat. 

“There, happy?” he barked, “He’ll be out within the hour and I’ll do all the poking and prodding you so desire.” Kurapika was unmoved and simply turned away with a snooty nod of his head. “And make sure to clean all the shit up, too. You might like the smell but-” 

Kurapika waved him away in agitation, walking out from under the tent and leaving Leorio to go in the opposite direction. Silence fell on that side of the circus once more. Though Gon felt a little guilty for having to skip the lion’s cage that morning it sounded as though he had a chance to redeem himself if Trigger was going to be sedated. 

Between that moment and the lion flopping against the edge of his cage like an old drunk, Gon was able to power through all the laundry given to him. Drying his hands off on his black under shirt and brown shorts, Gon sprung over to the animal’s open air shelter and grabbed his push broom from before. Indeed, Trigger was out like a light and made the task of sweeping his cage so much easier for Gon. In a matter of seconds his bedding was swept through the gap at the bottom of his cage. With the light of day Gon could see the lion was looking worse for wear. Coat duller, drool pouring from dark lips, and a strange sick smell that put Gon’s hair on end. The animal was very much asleep and he had seemed so upset before, either the medicine was strong or Trigger was exhausted from being up with pain. No matter, as Gon drew closer in an attempt to place the smell he wound up inches from the beast’s nose, little more than the bars between them. Gon gave the air another sniff.

Putrid. Chalky sick like snot after a cold. It was bitter and rotten in one complex stench. His sensitive nose picked up the smell and thought of sailors with missing teeth, out too long on the sea with gums melted away by disease. Curiosity got the better of the boy and a small hand reached through the bars to pull at the lion’s thick fleshy lips. Unlike Tom there was a full set of fangs. Trigger could rend him limb from limb, if the beast so pleased- but Gon was glad he braved it.

The smell became all the more powerful, enough to make Gon’s nose wrinkle. As he pinched the animal’s upper lip between his fingers a runny, yellow puss began dribbling from the upper molars of its mouth. Gon began massaging closer and closer to the source, which caused the flow to increase until the tan boy could feel an inflamed knot of flesh between his fingers. He squeezed on accident and the animal growled in his sleep- but there was give suddenly and the faintest hint of a splinter in that burning tissue. Leaning closer, Gon pinched the white twig between his fingers and pulled. 

Just as he did that, though, both Leorio and Kurapika arrived at his side, running from a distance at the sight of Gon wrist deep in trouble. 

“You..! Hey, kid, watch your damn self!” the doctor babbled over the shoulder of Kurapika as the blonde continued forward, his arm outstretched to yank Gon away. 

Rather than allow himself to be interrupted just when he could do some good, Gon yanked hard on the twig and pulled out a putrid, fractured chicken bone. Trigger snarled and yanked away, puss and worse pouring from the empty wound and smattering the cage floor. Just in time, Kurapika grabbed Gon by the shoulder and pulled him back up onto his feet, faces just inches apart.

“What on earth did you think you were doing?” the other’s crisp, disapproving voice barked at the boy’s face, “That’s a wild animal, he could have taken your hand off!” 

Gon held the smelly bone between his fingers and up towards his face which Kurapika, eventually, had no choice but to acknowledge. The blonde’s nose turned up and was then clamped over by a pale hand. “What on earth..?!”

Kurapika unhanded Gon as Leorio approached to inspect the needle like object with the present company. All three looked on with different faces, Kurapika in irritation, Gon with a certain pride, and Leorio disbelief, looking between the bone and the grooming lion with amazement.

“Wow, kid. I’m impressed!” Kurpika shot the taller man a dark look for those words, but Leorio continued through the death glare, “...So then you just plucked it out?” 

Gon nodded and pointed at the now relaxed lion. “See? He must have eaten too quick or too roughly and stuck himself on accident.” He smiled and Leorio whistled approvingly.

“Makes sense, then! Like I was telling Kurapika-”

“That’s nothing to be smiling at,” the blonde snapped, aggressive enough to even sober up the hack-vet, “You clean the cages. You lay the hay. You don’t touch my animals.” Gon looked up at the other with amazement, he’d been disregarded by nearly everyone but Killua and Kalluto at this point. Being yelled at was an improvement.

When Gon didn’t immediately apologize, and instead stared directly up at Kurapika with a slack jaw, the animal tamer bristled and took a breath to speak once more. Leorio even reached out as if to stop Kurapika from laying into the boy when they were all interrupted by a throat-clearing cough. Three sets of eyes looked up and then just to the side of the blonde. A few steps away stood three people. The tall dusty-blonde woman with short hair Gon saw often with a catalogue or inventory list of sorts, Phinks without his decorative attire, and the man who had welcomed Gon to the show.

“Ah! Mr. Lucilfer!” The tallest of the squabbling group began after pushing up his small, circular glasses, “Making the rounds?”

Glassy, dark eyes betrayed the amusement in Chrollo’s lips as he looked at Gon’s spit covered hand with the bone, “I was passing through, but at the sounds of alarm I needed to investigate.” His canter was as smooth as ever, only with the volume turned down. His hair was slicked back and a dark shirt over dark pants cinched the look. Whatever it was. Gon remembered seeing glittering blue near the other’s face during the show, but he was never close enough to comprehend what he was seeing. Now in Chrollo’s presence the boy could see his heavy earrings fully. The air held silent for too long so Chrollo spoke again, this time pointing a steady hand at the thorny bone in Gon’s fingers. “So what is the story behind that?”

Kurapika had turned in Chrollo’s direction, his face out of view, before spinning on his heel and walking off in the opposite direction. Gon blinked after him but the ring leader hummed loudly and the coastal boy’s attention was his once more.

“Ah, uhm... Well, Trigger was sick and not eating, and!- he was mad and made it hard to sweep his cage” as he spoke Gon parroted what he heard from Leorio earlier, as well as his own run in with the lion, keeping his eyes on Chrollo, “He smelled pretty sick to me too, so after Mr. Leorio gave him something to sleep I was able to sweep his cage and then look to see why he smelled so bad!” This is when Gon held up the chicken bone for all to see. Chrollo leaned in, as well as Leorio, but the woman and Phinks stood attentively in place. “This was stuck in his gums, it probably hurt him a whole lot, so I bet he’ll be feeling a lot better now that it’s gone.” 

Chrollo took a few steps forward and leaned down, this prompted his companions to do the same. “How funny, don’t you think, that such a tiny sliver fell a lion.” he began, dark eyes zeroed in on the bone, “The prey’s last revenge.”

“But the chicken was already dead,” Gon corrected innocently, “It wasn’t really Trigger’s prey.”

All eyes pointed at Gon now, their brows up, and Chrollo stood back up to his full height with a surprised expression. After a long beat the man smiled and his eyes glittered with delight. “Right you are, some King he is?” As Gon and Chrollo shared a chuckle the rest of the party looked on, beside themselves. 

“What impressive initiative,” the ringleader began, “Tell me how you came to pick up on sickness like that?” Maybe it was Leorio’s time to get offended because the man’s head twitched to the side and his posture went rigid, what with Gon now getting all the diagnosis questions. A few more questions came after that and even more when Gon mentioned his time there with Killua. 

“You’ll forgive me for not greeting you sooner,” Chrollo suggested, head bowed and eyes closed, “Gossip, unfortunately, travel faster by word of mouth than the arrival of an esteemed guest.” Standing to full height again he continued, “So then, do you enjoy the circus as much as you hoped? Do you miss your home port?”

“I do! And... Only sort of,” Gon said bashfully, a bit dazzled that Chrollo was giving him the time of day. The man had an ethereal air about him, but he was humble and his questions felt genuinely curious. Chrollo asked about what Gon had gotten up to as if the boy was responsible for giving him a report about it. When the ring leader had given a pass for Gon to stay he gave Gon no direction t first. Gon was honestly hiding out until Killua managed to meet with the man himself. ‘Clean’ was the only real direction given. During their trip to this new fairground Gon was given the full list of his responsibilities by Killua, who had taken it upon himself to ask around for odd jobs. But now the boss was there. Things could change.

“Have you come to play with the lions and tigers, then?”

“No,” Gon answered quickly, straightening his back, “I’ve come to tame them!” Of the adults that were left, since Leorio had snuck off awkwardly, there was a round of laughter and Chrollo reached forward to pat the boy on the head. His hand was heavy and broad.

“Good for you. Try everything you can while you’re here with us. You get my pass to do so.” At their bosses words both the blonde woman and Phinks nodded.

“You may come with me tomorrow morning,” the tall woman said cooly, “I’m responsible for double checking with each performer prior to shows and making sure every prop needed is accounted for.” If Gon wanted to get a good idea of all there was to learn, this is how he would do it. Chrollo nodded approvingly.

A meeting time was set, once his breakfast chores were finished, and after a once over of the resting lion Chrollo left with those in his company. But not before imparting a few more kind words.

“With that bravery and selflessness, you will fit in well.” Gon beamed at the praise. Beside himself with pride after the ringleader disappeared into the tents, Gon squeezed his hands together with enthusiasm and gave a leap of excitement. He looked at the bone in between his fingers. It had become the key to his kingdom. Washing up after a moment to himself, Gon was back to laundry and ended at the lunch tent, preparing peppers and soaking rice and beans for the chef to use later when over heard some hands talking around the stale coffee. 

Gon’s chest swelled when the topic was about himself and the wild gamble he made that morning with the lion. Gossip did travel fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updates will, sadly, be whenever I can post them. The next chapter should be posted hilariously soon, though. Thank you again for comments and kind words- or vicious criticism that I would wound Gon so heartlessly.


	4. Act 1 - A Thimble of Liquor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Underage drinking & vomit. Enjoy!

Lunch was a snoozy success and the rest of the sunlight that day passed in a similar manner, lazy and without worry. Gon was on a high after his run in with Trigger. His hands still stunk of chewed food and blood, but where was the glory without a little gore? 

While he was cleaning off plates and guarding an apple he had collected for himself, the youngest Zoldyck in the troupe appeared. At first Kalluto had seem dazzled by his brother’s new friend, keeping himself at a distance and staring even when Killua invited the young boy to play with them. After a few days Kalluto warmed up and began addressing Gon without needing Killua there to initiate a conversation, but it was only recently that he did more than ask about where Gon had come from. It seemed that the idea of living in one place and attending school was mysterious and strange enough to Kalluto that it warranted a mention during every interaction with Gon. The coastal boy had to admit it was strange to get such an enthusiastic reaction over the fact he had never moved, but Kalluto had delivered with wide violet eyes and both hands modestly over his mouth. Though there was a Zoldyck estate it wasn’t in that country and Kalluto, having been born on the road, had never actually experienced an extended stay. When he was old enough to travel without his mother the boy was passed off to his eldest brother’s care. That was where he found himself, according to the stories Killua told Gon. 

Kalluto had to pull back the long sleeves of his coat-like dress that Gon could never remember the name of, and soon Kalluto was elbow deep in a trough of water, scrubbing a pan happily with his older brother’s new friend. Gon, animatedly telling Kalluto about that day, was looking at his smile and wondering inside why Illumi lacked the same expressions. It didn’t seem like anything impressed or amazed him, but he never showed anger or annoyance either. The question went unasked as the subject changed from Trigger to what Kalluto would be doing during that evening’s show.

“Ah, tonight is Mr. Nobunaga’s last performance with me,” the pretty boy started with an even smile, “After that I’ll be staring in my own act.” That meant the brothers would be performing back to back. It also meant Kalluto would be wearing an outfit he had mentioned several times in the last few weeks. During his performance with Nobunaga the older man threw knives into a board Kalluto posed in front of with fans. About half way through he would catch a knife in a fan and throw it back. It was one of those elements of the show that amazed Gon each and every time he saw it. The two of them dressed similarly for this, Japanese garb they could perform in, but with Kalluto’s transition into the main Zoldyck act that meant he would be retiring his performance yukata for one of the form fitting, harlequin outfits Killua and Illumi were known for. 

“Are you excited to wear something other than your yutaka?” Gon asked, matching the other’s violet gaze. 

“Yukata,” Kalluto corrected brightly, “For my performance, of course. I don’t like putting holes in them. They belong to mama, after all.” 

Gon’s lips quirked curiously.

“Ah, well. Mama used to wear these,” the youngest Zoldyck defended, eyes wide as if he hadn’t really considered what it meant to wear his mother’s childhood clothing, “-and so long as you take care of them they can last a long time. I haven’t seen mama in a while so it-”

“It’s nice to have around because it’s something of her’s, right?” Gon asked.

Kalluto nodded and smiled bashfully behind a hand. “That’s correct.” They went back to scrubbing pots and when they had all been rinsed and set out to dry, Kalluto took Gon’s hand and the pair went about the perimeter of the fairgrounds, looking deep into the forest from the safety of beaten paths. Gon asked about the places Kalluto had traveled to, but his answers were short and unenthusiastic, leading always to a question about Gon’s home town on the port and the forests of his home. 

“There is a bird’s nest in the kitchen window’s hutch” Gon explained when they tumbled over a small grassy knoll just covered by the afternoon shadows of the trees, “So every spring there will be a few hatchlings. They look so silly- Bwaa-ah!” Gon imitated their gaping mouths with the help of hands folded over his lips, opening and closing like a beak. Kalluto laughed in his bashful way, behind both hands, which only made Gon chase after him, squawking louder. Wobbling on his sandals, Kalluto stopped and threw out a hand to keep Gon at a distance.

“They look like that..? How funny! They must gobble food so quickly,” the young boy giggled. With how he spoke it was easy for Gon to forget that Kalluto was several years younger than him. “You get to watch them grow up then, huh?” asked the curious little boy, taking Gon’s hand again once the other stopped chasing him.

“Yup! And we get to watch them learn how to fly.” Kalluto ‘oooh’ softly and began to look around as if a nest would appear from thin air to entertain them both. When the pair wrapped up their play they hurried back to the Zoldyck compound to see that Illumi was outside of his hitch, combing his long hair before tying it in a low ponytail against the nape of his neck. As the pair approached Kalluto picked up his step and ran to Illumi’s side for a kiss on the cheek. Illumi, face blank as ever, rubbed at the mole on Kalluto’s face and remarked that he mistook it for a stain again. It must of been how he played because Kalluto smiled and brushed the hand away before dashing into his older brother’s hitch for the yukata he wore during the show. Illumi stood to full height under the canopy that covered their caravans and stared hard at Gon, as if waiting for him to apologize and leave for simply existing. Though the vacuum of Illumi’s stare ran Gon the risk of actually bolting, with a loud shucking noise the market lights came on and the circus officially kicked into action before the live show. Gon was able to shake himself from the silent exchange in that moment and made for the door of the cabin Killua was sleeping in.

The sun had finished its arc across the sky and the forest crashed its branches together as warm air was over taken by nightfall. Doors creaked around them and Gon sprung upon Killua to wake the boy up. The trailer’s interior was washed in a grey light and made all the colorful quilts and worn toys of Killua and Kalluto’s childhood look as though they had gone to the wash a dozen too many times. The boy between out stretched hands squirmed awake and Gon chipperly greeted him as he usually did on show nights. When there wasn’t the call for a performance than Gon would wake Killua up to play before Illumi called the boy back for practice. 

“Show time already..?” Killua sighed, throwing out a hand and having Gon catch it before he bashed it against a low shelf. The Zoldyck stretched with a squeak as Gon sat up on his knees and tugged a chain overhead, lighting the cramped interior. “Ah, I had a good dream,” Killua smiled, taking Gon’s hand when it was offered and allowing himself to be yanked up, “Mn, Gon. How was your day?”

The tanned boy’s mouth fell open and he made a noise of surprise, “Wah! I can’t believe I forgot!” How had his adventure with Trigger not been the first thing from his mouth? Taking Killua by the hands and shaking them up and down, Gon watched the excitement blossom on Killua’s face as he described the argument between Kurapika and Leorio, acting out both of their voices. Killua only grew more amazed as the story continued, following Gon through his wake-up routine of washing his face and grabbing his performance outfit as Gon told the wild story of plucking a bone from Trigger’s swollen lips. Killua’s eyes had never been so wide.

“Wo-ah!! You did that?!” he beamed, inches from Gon’s face, “Wo-ho-ho, geez Gon you’re brave- next you’ll be putting your whole head in there.” The coastal boy blushed and rubbed his nose earnestly. 

“Hehe, maybe! I’m just glad Trigger is feeling better- Kurapika sure was mad though!” 

“Ah, and you said he ran off after Chrollo showed up, right?”

“Yeah yeah,” Gon started as Killua opened the door to their trailer and began stretching on the tarp Illumi laid out for their makeshift porch, “He didn’t even say thank you or anything.”

Killua hummed and slipped down into a splits, laying his ribs flush against a leg, “He really only gets along with Leorio... When they aren’t screaming at eachother like an old couple, that is.” Killua raised his arms above his head and stretched the other way before continuing, “But I think he’s just shy. He’s never been rude to anyone unless they get in his face. Maybe it’s just a personality problem.” 

Gon, who had never run into a person who didn’t like him, was beside himself in confusion. What wasn’t there to like? And who would scorn a helping hand like that? He crossed his arms and frowned worriedly, festering on the topic before Killua piped up again, this time with his legs stretched backwards and resting his feet on his shoulders. 

“I can hear you thinking- Don’t sweat it Gon.” the Zoldyck smiled, “Not everyone has to adore you.” 

Gon was a bit flustered by those words, though he couldn’t place why, and selfishly changed the subject to keep from thinking on the topic much longer. 

“Do you know if Hisoka will be performing tonight?”

As if on cue Illumi exited his hitch with Kalluto right behind him and Killua piped up to address his brother. “Oi, Illu. Where is Hisoka gonna be tonight?”

Illumi looked at Killua and tilted his head to one side, “Why would I know, Killu?” His voice was curious, as if he’d been asked about a stranger.

“Right. Do you know where he’s gonna be or not?” Killua stood and folded his arms unamused as his older brother primped the yellow roses on his fancy outfit during their conversation.

“No. I can’t say I do. Though I believe he will be out tonight and may return upon the show’s closing. It’s near our last show in town- Oh-” Illumi pointed a finger up into the air at this sudden realization, “So he might be placing ‘Final Show’ posters around today. Happy, Killua?”

Killua turned to Gon and rolled his eyes without answering. “There’s your answer.” Illumi glanced in Gon’s way once at his brother’s words, the source of Killua’s question revealed, before approaching his performance partner wordlessly. Killua knew what this meant and plucked his outfit from Gon’s arms, as the boy had been holding it for him as he stretched. “Alright, I’m gonna go get ready and do the-” he scribbled an autograph in the air, “-stuff. See you after the show.” With a wave and a happy ‘Break a leg’, the boys parted and Gon plucked around before the big top event.

Gon didn’t have anything to do during the show times. Normally he would sit somewhere and watch the show from the crowd, but recently his clothes began to show their wear and he stuck out too much among the high class attendees. To prevent anyone in the crowd from complaining about some run away boy, Gon decided that evening to perch himself just under one of the spotlight stands. He was about as far away as he could get from the show but it wasn’t a problem now that he had familiarized himself. And, just as an aside, he had plenty more to think about that day in particular.

While the show had become a distraction from the arduous chores Gon was responsible over those last few weeks, now his enjoyment of the show was back seat to his meeting with Chrollo that day. Gon felt like he was on the precipice of learning so much more. The show melted away and even as it ended and the crowd filed out he was swimming around in his head above it all. He made it back out into the dewy grass of the fairground and began hunting for direction, maybe Killua, when direction found him.

There he was!   
Gon’s heart leapt up into his throat as Hisoka’s broad back and slender waist slipped between two tents, his shoulders cocked back and his head hanging low as he wrung his hands together absentmindedly. Gon hadn’t spoken to the magician in days, but now he had something to share. Gon wanted to see what amused face Hisoka would make after hearing about Gon’s run in with Trigger and drink in whatever praise was offered him. Of course he didn’t understand that was to blame for how he bounded towards the retreating figure, in Gon’s mind he only missed Hisoka and wanted to tell him about his day- but as Gon dashed around a bank of empty barrels, a thick, dark arm picked him up. 

“Where are you headed off to so fast?!” Uvogin, the strong man, laughed as he held Gon several feet up in the air by his suspenders, “Where’s the fire?!” Uvo was seated on an over turned tub, even then towering over his company of Shalnark and Nobunaga who were seated on stools. Gon’s starry eyes blinked rapidly as he got use to being held at the end of Uvo’s arm, his world bouncing elastically around him.

With a grin he answered “I’m chasing after Hisoka!”

The trio made faces at one another in a split second, volumes unspoken between the old companions, before looking back at their young company. 

“You should take it easy, you stood down Kurapika today didn’t you?” the young blonde offered with a kind smile, rising from his seat for Gon’s use.

Nobunaga was dressed loosely in a robe, his performance wear long gone and seeming far more at peace in such simple garb, “Yeah, don’t go chasing after Hisoka. You’ll never catch him after a big top show,” he drawled, shaking his head and heaving his shoulders.

Uvo hesitated putting Gon back down, even when it was obvious in the strain of the boy’s legs that he began to miss the earth beneath his feet. Hooking a finger around a band of the other’s outfit, Uvo grunted and yanked Gon right back when he attempted to speed off after his boots touched down. 

He must have expected Gon to run. 

With a sigh like a gust of wind, Uvo turned Gon around and clapped one giant hand on Gon’s tiny shoulder like a steel trap. “Now listen to your elders this time, kid.” he began in as gentle a rumble as he could, which was just short of a roar, “Even if you do catch that clown you will wish you hadn’t.”

Gon looked at the other with confusion and a tilt of his head, concern beating against the back of his honey eyes, when Shalnark reached over and tapped Uvogin’s free arm with a balled fist. 

“Hey now Uvo! No need to scare him,” the trapeze artist warned, taking to the top of a barrel as he left his seat open for Gon. “Hisoka is perfectly harmless,” smiled Shalnark down at his green clad company, his own white tights dirty from the ring, “He just prefers to be alone. So respect his distance, you’re a polite little boy right? That shouldn’t be hard.”

Nobunaga rolled his eyes and his head in a theatrical display as a hand reached out from the folds of his robe to scratch at his stubbled chin. “It’s Hisoka who can’t respect distance,” he grumbled. Uvogin chuckled, which was much like the loudest Gon could laugh, and he reached over to cuff his friend, who blocked the attack with a raised arm.

“If Gon wants to have a good long life with us he better learn what will keep him out of trouble!” laughed the enormous man, “And the best way to stay out of trouble is to stay one step ahead of it with good company and strong drink!” 

As if from thin air several tin mugs materialized before each patron in the tent alley, filled with content from not-so-empty barrels under Shalnark. Gon’s age was unimportant in terms of drinking, it seemed, and not long after a cork was undone did he receive a tall fist of warm, foul smelling alcohol. Was it beer? Was it a malt? One sniff told him nothing except that it was strong enough to burn his nose. When he took his first swallow his eyes instantly water and he coughed wetly as the performers all cheered, sipping at their cups as if it were nothing more than water.

While at first the trio of performers would sit Gon back down whenever he attempted an escape there came a point that they were barely aware of themselves, much less the tiny new comer, so Gon was free to stagger off like a lop sided wind up toy. His head felt ten times heavier, as did his eye lids, but his cheeks burned pleasantly and he could feel a smile on his face despite the fact his mouth had gone numb from whatever the others had been drinking out of those barrels. As if on cue he turned a corner and saw Killua playing with a ball by himself in the barely lit stomping ground of the circus. He looked up, light eyes catching a torch by the sauntering Gon as his silhouette stumbled over Killua’s harlequin outfit.

“Hi Killua..!” the tanned boy smiled, his volume keyed up from the booze in his body, “No practice with Illumi..? Are you playing by yourself?”

Killua bounced the ball on his knee once more before securing it under a curled arm, frown on his face. “Eww, I can smell Uvo’s drink on you from here,” he began, hiding his nose behind a wrist, “Did he spill it on you or did you grab a thimble of your own?” 

Gon rested both hands on his knees, exhausted from the foul poison after only a few minutes of walking, and spoke. “Actually he gave me a whole-” but with a trip on his own shoes Gon face planted hard into the dirt after several unsuccessful steps to right himself. He spear legged right past the pale boy, arms windmilling at his sides until perfecting the landing. Killua couldn’t help but laugh at the display. The differences between a drunk adult and a child were slim. Gon’s face, elbows, and knees sported grass stains and dirt and he looked confused to find himself on the ground. Killua’s laughter glittered in the night and with a gentle pad of feet on grass he returned to Gon’s side. 

“No blood, you’re fine,” Killua eased, “But you’ll think twice before drinking now, huh?” With bleary eyes Gon looked up and swiveled his head around, trying to face Killua, before retching into the grass.

Laughter gone, Killua reached for the other and hoisted him up by his suspenders, much in the same fashion as Uvo, but all while keeping their feet on the ground. Gon’s mouth hung open with spit and dinner hanging in strings from his lips before another wave of luke warm wash forced its way up. He made a harsh noise falsely and managed a breath before a whine escaped his lips.

“It’s even worse coming up...!” he groaned, looking at Killua with a disgusted frown, before turning back towards the earth and throwing up again. 

Once he was all empty Killua pat him on the back and Gon attempted to sit down- which threw Killua into a frenzy to keep him from landing ass first in puke. “Ok, you’re a mess Gon,” he sighed with a tone of finality, “Let’s go to bed.”

Gon’s swiveling head rolled about before looking up at the other, “Together? Really?” Obviously so with Killua pulling Gon’s arm over his shoulder to move him, but Gon’s question wasn’t simply yes or no. “...Today has been such a great day..!” he began to whine, taken for a spin by the booze in his veins, as he clutched heavily onto Killua’s shirt, “I really really can’t believe it!” 

Killua, who was groaning with effort to keep Gon upright and from slapping against the earth, nodded but seemed otherwise unimpressed. “Yes, together, I’m tired!” Usually he didn’t go to sleep at the same time as Gon unless there was a show- but between the show and now Gon had forgotten this among mugs of alcohol. 

“Ah, I’m glad... Today has been such a great, great day,” the boy repeated, cheek on Killua’s shoulder as the world spun about like a carrousel. He had no idea how the other boy was able to walk upright despite the earth breathing under their feet- then again Killua was a gymnast so it made sense that he could glide along the rippling ground until they were at their trailer. The porthole windows of Illumi’s trailer drooped sadly and it appeared to cuddle up against the shell Kalluto, Killua, and Gon called home. As they slipped inside, and the world blurry at the edges, Gon was placed on the floor among unfinished paper dolls. The fairy lights strung up, half burned out and twinkling desperately, lit the metal cabin in a dreamy way. The books and child-hood trinkets blurred together in Gon’s hazy state of mind, transforming the Zoldyck’s mobile home into a cozy hideaway. As Killua peeled the tight outfit off his body, pink petals fell to the floor. Everyday Illumi took the time to pin blossoms onto he and Killua’s outfits. Soon he would be pinning them on Kalluto as well. It was a visual signature of the Zoldycks and, as the eldest, Illumi took great care to manicure their outfits with them. Gon imagined he had to drive out every few days to find a florist with blooms in just the right colors, or maybe Illumi had them specially ordered, but how he managed to adorn himself and his brothers in those fresh, bright roses, Gon considered a trick all on its own. As Killua changed into his night clothes, Gon averted his gaze, granting the other some privacy. Stark white against textured carpet, Gon inspected the paper chain of hand-holding figures that were left incomplete on the floor. They were obviously made by Kalluto’s hand, but the boy was no where to be seen.

“Ah, Kalluto is sleeping in Illumi’s trailer,” answered Killua as he delicately picked the dolls up off the floor, “He just likes to do that sometimes.” 

Gon ‘oh’d with enthusiasm and then looked to the cot that had been Killua’s before he arrived. As if by magic Killua was at the cot’s side, dressing it properly for the both of them. Head beginning to clear a little, Gon now had the ability to sit up and help where he could. Standing and giving one wobble in Killua’s direction before straightening his path to the bedside, Gon got to Killua’s side helped the other lay out their quilts flat on the bed, equally spread so neither boy would wind up more hot or cold than the other. Killua looked to be taking extra care with it and it brought a giggle out of Gon. 

“What are you laughing at me for?” the acrobat asked, brows pinching and matching the pout of his lips. 

Gon shouldered his friend and pointed at the bed teasingly, “We’ve been sleeping on the floor and you’re making the bed extra fancy right before we jump into it!” 

Killua frowned and shoved back before hopping right up onto the suspended bed with a bounce, giving into the other’s teasing. Gon followed but wasn’t quick enough to dodge a pillow Killua launched in his direction. He caught it in his gut, arm folding over the crocheted pillow and using it as a shield as he picked up another worn out one to attack with. Killua laid on his back and kicked away each assault, laughing as they battled it out. Gon was noticeably slower in his inebriated state but he kind of enjoyed the slow, gooey movements as his friend pelted him twice as fast with a barrage of stuffed toys and pillows. The bed he had taken such care in assembling had been destroyed in seconds. Gon tried pointing it out but all he could do was laugh at the situation and clamor closer to the other. He felt unspeakably happy and, without the filters of higher thought there to assign words and phrases to his feelings, Gon experienced the moment as it happened. It was freeing and authentic, their playing, and if friendship was a place one could find themselves Gon was certainly there. 

But as he was wordlessly joyful he was tired without an assignment to it. Gon’s head swam and still rolled against his shoulders heavily as Killua grabbed him by the collar and shook. 

“You alright?” the Zoldyck asked, reddish eyes flicking over Gon’s features. Even in the dark, golden light of the room, Gon could see veins just under the skin of Killua’s eye lids. His lashes were as white as his hair, too, but thick like his brother’s. In the dim lighting it was impossible to tell if his cheeks had grown pink, but Gon felt Killua’s skin warm and entertained the idea. Gon should have been the one blushing, he thought, after all Killua was so cool and handsomely unique. “...You alright?” he repeated, one brow arching and his tone far more skeptical this time around. Gon’s smile felt warm on his face and he smiled harder at the sensation. He became aware of both how tired and how delighted he was, yeah he was alright but it was hard to put into words. 

“Uh huh...” Gon managed, staring down at his friend with a distant expression. He thought about that morning and what Killua had said, the reassurance in his words, and although he was happy Gon’s lip began to tremble, “Thank you for- Uhu... For inviting me along.”

Killua’s brows went up and he laid still against the bed, head tilting one way and then the other at Gon’s sudden thanks. “Uh, yeah of course Gon,” he began, shifting uncomfortably, mumbling words up at the visibly upset boy “I mean you really didn’t have to agree but I’m glad that you accepted. I... Think I really like having someone my age around- it’s cool.” 

Gon’s lip wobbling only got worse and big fat, drunk tears began to form across the surface of his brown eyes at the other’s words. He whined loudly and threw himself down against the other’s chest. He went on about how grateful he was to travel with a friend, that he was seeing incredible things, and how much he missed his Aunt. Gon really needed to have heard it from Killua, so for the traveling teen to lay it out that, yeah, Gon was fun to be around- it was like a voice from above to comfort Gon in his drunken state. That said, much of what Gon sobbed into Killua’s shirt was unintelligible and left Killua literally grasping at the back of his worn out shirt to comfort the boy. 

“H-hey it’s alright!” he soothed over the sound of Gon whining into his stomach, “Don’t cry- Gon, c’mon- Gon!” But the boy just hugged tighter and rubbed his face into Killua’s pajamas, tears of relief falling.

Gon fell asleep shortly after and soundly enough for Killua to get up and grab a book and candle to read by, not needing much light to see in the dark of the comfy cabin. Gon pulled closer in his sleep and felt the warmth of Killua’s body against him under the covers, making for peaceful rest. The next day would be eventful in its own way, but Gon considered this one a hallmark. Today he felt like he really fit in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the KilluGon this chapter, next couple ones will have more with a sprinkling of one sided HisoGon. Why why why is Gon such a bold boy?


	5. ACT 1: One Ounce of Wintergreen

Gon woke up to a knock on the door of the Zoldyck’s trailer. It was a steady knock, not impatient or too delicate, but loud and hard enough to shake the hitch. Gon raised his head and rubbed his eyes but not any ounce of effort made his vision align properly. With the knocking came a heavy thud against the walls of his skull, like his brain had turned to lead, and with a soft greeting and call to wait, Gon attempted to ready himself for whoever was at the door. He tumbled over Killua’s sleeping form, a book still in the boy’s hand, and landed on the floor with the grace of a newborn. Limbs went every which way as he tried to steady himself and as soon as Gon was upright he headed to the trailer door and swung it open, not wanting to make his guest wait.

It was predawn but already the grey of the sky and the golden fairy lights strung around the Zoldyck complex made Gon’s head ache terribly. He made the effort to focus his eyes on the figure and was half delighted, half mortified to see Pakunoda at the ready. The woman’s face was even but her brows rose as Gon swayed in the door frame.

“Little Gon? Are you well?” asked the blonde woman, reaching a hand out to pat his cheek. The boy smiled his very best, eye level with the tall woman as he stood on the raised ledge of the hitch’s entrance, but his grin’s painful tinge made him look even more uncomfortable than before. 

“Yup!” What a bold faced lie. 

“Ah, well, I moved chores around- you’re free this morning,” she began, looking at the clipboard under her arm briefly before back up at the boy. “So, Gon, let’s get you breakfast before we go around, yes?” 

Gon’s cheeks warmed and he smiled reflexively, “Really?!” The sound of his own voice was grating and he squinted at the pain. “W-wow thank you, ma’am! Ah, uh... S-so we can head out now?”

Pakunoda nodded once, slowly and with purpose, the clipboard coming to the front of her tweed burgundy dress. “Yes, if you are ready,” she offered, palm up as she stepped aside for Gon to exit the trailer. “Admittedly, I freed up your schedule so that we could introduce you to a few more of the performers.” The boy hopped down and was instantly dwarfed by the blonde; he was so small in fact that as he stumbled he could only just be caught by the woman’s quick hand. Gon bashfully looked up when Pakunoda righted him on his feet. Pakunoda leaned down and discretely sniffed the air before tilting her chin up and humming loudly.

“What’s that I smell?”

Gon nearly died having to explain himself. He pressed his fingers together and tried not to think so hard, agony on his face as he murmured a tiny explanation. “Uhm... Well last night I tried a something Uvogin offered and-”

“Ahh, say no more,” the woman cut off quickly, a knowing, sympathetic smile on her face, “I have no need to scold; your hangover will do that for you.” She looked him up and down and laughed to herself afterwards, as if Gon’s situation was all the more funny knowing what caused it. “Oh that stuff is pure bile, you poor, poor,” she tapped Gon on the forehead, eliciting an embarrassed and painful groan from him, “poor little boy. Well, let’s get coffee in you. It will taste just as bad but will clear your head this time.”

Sheepish was one way to describe Gon’s demeanor as he and Pakunoda slipped through the camp. His head was still heavy and pounding, so it hung down and only by the heels of his leader’s shoes did Gon march forward. Pakunoda poured him a mug of coffee, spooning grounds off the top, before fixing her own. He hesitated and watched the other drink her’s first. She made no yelp or retch of disgust so Gon swallowed a mouthful himself before the actual taste registered. It was mostly hot, enough to burn his cheeks from the inside, but he imagined the water draining out of a flowerpot might have a similar flavor. He drank every ounce, even the grounds that had gotten mixed in, and stuck out his tongue after he was done. 

“You will thank me later,” Pakunoda said after she set down her own empty mug. Gon was about to pick up their empty dishes when the older woman stilled his hand. “Told you. I have someone else covering.” Gon stared up in hungover silence before letting his hands flop at his sides. Whoever was taking his shift must have made the coffee and left, so he felt a little bad not to rinse the cups since he had no way of knowing when they would be back. Pakunoda stilled him again and picked up the clipboard she had placed down while grabbing their drinks, signaling that they were off. Out from under the pavilion and through the tents they went. A fire had been started and a few workers and performers were waiting by with wooden buckets to make for a warm sponge bath or tea, maybe to hand wash clothes. Sleepy faces didn’t look up to acknowledge the pair and similarly Pakunoda walked to the first leg of her journey. There was a checklist of names and empty fields beside each one on the paper she carried around. She was at the ready to fill them, a pencil hovering just over the page. The first stop was a familiar face, one that gave hungover Gon a reason to grimace.

“Gon!” shouted Uvogin without regard for an upright and sleeping Shalnark just feet away, seemingly placed there after drinking. “Slap me naked and hide my clothes- You live to see another day!” He laughed heartily as if the massive weights in his hands meant nothing. Their values were scratched off after, probably, years of travel and after a few more counts, Uvogin dropped them with a quaking thud. He had a cloth around his shoulder that he used to dab off his forehead before coming to Pakunoda’s side and looking over her sheet. He gave Gon a grin and held up one finger to politely excuse himself from their conversation. “Just a moment, boy,” he reassured.

Pakunoda proceeded to ask a set of questions, namely if he would be comfortable traveling out to the local market to advertise for their last show at this fairground, as well as what equipment he would need for the actual performance. When Uvogin confirmed he would be traveling, Pakunoda answered with a question of her own.

“You will be responsible for your own traveling- so bring someone with you who can drive,” she began, tone dropping and a smirk coming to her lips “Any preference?”

Uvogin laughed, at what Gon wasn’t sure. 

“Right, right,” Pakunoda replied, scribbling something down with a smile as Uvogin turned his attention to Shalnark. The acrobat was still fast asleep atop a barrel, arms folded and his head nearly in his lap, but he still ran the risk of toppling off. Picking up one of his weights, veins popping across taut skin as he did so, Uvogin greeted the sleepy blonde.

“Hey now, Shal!” he rumbled with a grin, “Hold this?”

The blonde shot right up, eyes closed, and threw a hand out as he wobbled in place. Gon stared in hazy confusion as the tall man tutted. 

“It’s heavy; use both hands.”

Shalnark, in a state of complete suggestibility before fully waking up, threw out another. Uvogin held the weight out before the other’s open palms and looked over his shoulder at Gon to wink. If he dropped that and Shalnark bothered to catch it, the blond would go head over heels into the damp morning earth. Instead, Uvogin laughed and dropped his burdened arm to the side, pressing a finger into the other’s palm with his free hand and proving the gentle touch just enough to topple Shalnark over. 

With a loud snort of surprise, the young man woke up and caught himself before hitting the earth, rolling in a somersault just as outstretched hands touched the ground. He looked up in complete surprise before realization crossed his face. On his feet, the blond socked Uvogin hard in the arm and might have terrorized the man further if not for the hangover he also appeared to be suffering from. Heels of his palms pressing into both eyes, Shalnark groaned and meandered over to Pakunoda, maybe having just caught her in his sights before punching the strong man.

“...Yeah?” he grumbled hoarsely, “You got a 30 seconds before I walk myself to bed.”

“Can you perform at the market before the last show?” she asked coolly, pencil at the ready.

“Yeah.”

“What equipment will you need in the truck before heading out?”

Shalnark dropped his hands and squinted into the air, hemming and hawing loudly with thought before naming off a few things- and then scratching off just as many. “I can get away with less. I can do a routine without any of that crap. Just pack for the big lug.” With that, he waved his hand and started off to his own tent- but not before doing an about face and pointing at Gon. “Morning, kid! Still breathing?” he asked brightly, a cat-like smile on his face, “Ne, don’t wait on me if you need anything Uvo. I’ll join the living later.” He gave a final wave and headed off, likely to change out of the performance wear he was still mostly in and sleep off the last of last night’s poison.

Uvogin picked up his other weight and looked up in thought before going back to lifting idly in the smoky light of dawn. Gon used this opportunity to bound over, puffy eyes looking the impossibly tall man up and down as he lifted Gon’s weight a dozen times over. Pakunoda stood to the side, watching the interaction. 

“How did you get to be so... big?” Gon asked in wonder, not sure if Uvogin was human at his stature or just a lost giant. He must have been born that big and Gon looked down at his body, unable to imagine Uvogin at his age. What must his growth spurt have been like?

“Luck, I suppose!” the man answered, dropping the weights and lowering himself into a playful stance as if he were about to spring upon Gon, “And eating pups like you for breakfast!” Gon had seen this man bend steel bars and break a railroad tie barehanded. If he wanted to eat Gon, it would surely be easy. Those big bright teeth looked able to cut through bone like butter, especially with the support of a strong jaw. Thick brows wiggled teasingly at the now face-level boy and Gon matched his stance, grinning. Uvogin flinched a movement and that was enough to send Gon yelping. He growled like a beast and followed, foot falls heavy as Gon flitted about the beat down earth of Uvogin’s tent. After a frantic moment of nervous laughter and play, Gon dashed around Pakunoda’s side. Another belly laugh that could level a small town erupted from Uvogin as he stood back up to full height, calling the hunt off. 

“Haha, you’re fun, kid- I’ll chase you around the whole circus next time!” the man warned, a cartoonish grin coming to his face. “I miss having kids like you around.” He smiled genuinely this time, coming over to pat Gon on the head. Feeling the whole of Uvogin’s giant palm on his crown, Gon decided being a strong man just wasn’t in his cards. He could be fit- but never to compare with Uvogin. It wasn’t a bad thing, just not possible. Besides, it made Uvogin all the more unique in both stature and playful personality. Pakunoda moved from her spot and waved Gon over with her clipboard. They had more stops to make, for sure. With one more wave, Gon left Uvogin to his exercising and they ventured into the cooler, inner tents of the mini city where space was a bit more cramped. 

In a darker corridor, Pakunoda stopped in front of a worn out tent and looked down at her sheet before calling out to the person she suspected was inside.

“Nobunaga” she began. “Coming in. Have your plans made for the show?”

A muffled “Ah, yeah?” was the answer she got and it was good enough for the woman to move inside. She folded the tent entrance back and poked her head in before quickly yanking it out, eyes squinted shut as a loud shuffling of fabric and caw of surprise sounded from behind the thick tarp. Gon was curious to look but Pakunoda put a hand to his chest and held him just out of sight.

“Geez!-Augh my head..!” grumbled the swordsman from his small quarters, “...I know what I said but I- ugh, geez. Wait, you know, wait.” 

Pakunoda stepped away from the flap, cool as ever, but a hand through her hair hinted otherwise. After a quiet pause. Nobunaga’s head stuck out from the flap, material bunched under his collar as if held together from the inside. He looked rough, hair down and stuck against his face in a weird way as if he’d fallen asleep on it, and dark bags under his eyes were all the more apparent against his blanched face. He noticed Pakunoda first but caught on quickly to Gon, head snapping down at the boy. 

“Oh, look who’s alive,” was Uvogin’s drink really poison and had Gon survived attempted-murder or were all these reactions just that genuine? “Anyway, no. I’m not in the show, Paku.” The blonde woman’s brows went up and she nodded with regard. 

“Finally passing it on to Kalluto, then?”

“Yup, the boy is more than ready to perform and I’m more than ready to sit on my ass and watch.” Nobunaga rubbed his nose with a finger and sighed with finality. 

“What about driving?”

Nobunaga gave Gon a glance first before nodding. “Of course. Whenever needed.”  
Pakunoda wrote this down and smiled. “We move out within the week; you’ll have plenty of driving to do then. I’ll miss your act.”

The swordsman shrugged. “I’ll always have it to fall on. Ah- not my sword, literally, you know.” He seemed a bit sluggish still and rubbed at his eyes again. “S’that all you need, Paku?”

After a cheeky bow between the two, they parted once more, Gon following behind. He and Pakunoda stopped by a few other tents, but after each interaction Gon felt less and less like he knew what he wanted to learn. It seemed like many people were born to perform, hand casted to fit a particular role. Is that why the Zoldycks were all traveling performers? Was it something passed down like eye color? Gon didn’t know about the rest of his family, but Aunt Mito and Granny didn’t lend themselves to such a trait. But if he kept searching, someone would have an answer.

This feeling was especially strong before their meeting with Bonolenov. The well-spoken man had been up before sunrise and was reading to a candle outside of his tent, his modified body of pins, piercings, and holes catching light unlike any skin Gon had seen before. 

“Young man, I urge you to not seek yourself in others,” he pressed, hands folding over one another as he rested the book in his lap and paid attention to their conversation fully. “Instead, seek out their experience and perspective. If I sought to be the image my audiences see... I would be a very, very different man.” He looked up at Pakunoda and in the silence of his pause. Gon felt shame for the assumptions he made seeing Bonolenov’s performance for the first time. 

The man sitting quietly, nibbling on the rinds of an apple he’d skinned for breakfast, was marketed to the crowd as a cannibal. An exotic. The thing of imperialist nightmares and xenophobic pleasures. Yes, he performed. Yes, he played into the narrative of otherness- but with a laugh, the man spoke once more. “Though, considering the crowd, they might be more shocked by my civility. The animals they are.” Pakunoda smiled at the man she stood beside and then turned to Gon once more. 

“Shall we?” 

The boy blinked between the two and gave Bonolenov a polite bow before he left. “Thank you, sir!” he offered, catching up to Pakunoda. They began walking past other tents and a sting pierced Gon’s throat. He had a selfish question to ask.

“Ah, Pakunoda?” he began, catching up to her. “If it’s ok, can we stop by someone else’s place?”

She faced Gon completely and peered down at him, lips pursed at first. “Oh? There aren’t any other names left to check, but we certainly can.” Dropping down to Gon’s level, forearms resting on her knees, Pakunoda looked him in the eyes and asked, “Who are you looking for?” 

His lips twitched. 

“Hisoka.”

Pakunoda’s lips parted and she took in a short, tiny breath before shaking her head sympathetically. “Actually, he’s not in this morning.”

Gon made no effort to brighten or dim his face; it remained neutral. He nodded. It was left at that. Pakunoda rose and the pair continued on their way.

It was nearly lunch now but with a final stop at the equipment tent, Pakunoda stood at the entrance and turned to smile at Gon. 

“How is your hangover?”

He’d completely forgotten and held onto his head. “Ah, I’m thirsty but it’s gone!” 

The woman laughed to herself and bopped her head from side to side. “You will do best not to pick up that stuff again. Not until you’re older.” Gon nodded sheepishly and she continued. “We’ve come to the end of the morning. Did you have a good time?”

“I had a great time!”

“I’m going to check up on the equipment now,” she began, pointing over her shoulder with the clipboard. “Grab some water and lunch. Glad you had a good morning, Gon.” The woman moved to enter but found the boy still at her side. She made a questioning noise and nodded to the direction of where lunch would be served. “Aren’t you hungry?”

Gon looked a little disappointed. “We’re not going to check the equipment together?” Pakunoda straightened up and looked surprised.

“...No, no we are.” she reassured. 

Gon instantly brightened up and filed into line with Pakunoda at the front. “Ok! Afterwards, we can get lunch together!” Gon couldn’t see the smile on the woman’s face at first, but it showed in her brightened tone and in the way she would encourage him closer to look at the inner workings of musical carriages. She even let him mark down the list of equipment and props that would need to be arranged just outside of the big top for the show. 

“If we didn’t organize the equipment ahead of time, then the laborers wouldn’t be able to send them out quickly. The flow of the show would be at risk- yes it is more work... But it allows us to constantly change the line up.” Pakunoda explained on her hands and knees as she and Gon both look at the underbelly of a chariot with crooked wheels.

With a noise of realization, Gon smiled at his company and added, “That’s what keeps the show fresh, huh?” He lay flat on his back again and looked up to the axel in thought. 

Pakunoda hummed at his sudden interest. “See something wrong?”

“No. I’ve just never seen the underside of a car or carriage before- so I’m just looking.”

The woman nodded, narrowly missing the bottom of the chariot, a smile on her face. “You’ve got unmatched curiosity, Gon. Don’t let that slip away.” The two of them shuffled out of that cramped space and stood back up, brushing off the front of their outfits. “Speaking of,” the woman began again, “is there anything else you want to see?”

Gon put a finger to his chin and tilted his head to the side. “It’s not in the circus... But I really really want to explore the forest..!” he smiled, remembering the moment he’d had the previous day and the longing of nature all around him. “If you’d like to come with me, you can!” Gon wasn’t sure the reaction he expected, but something flashed in Pakunoda’s eyes and the most curious smile came to her lips. 

She agreed wholeheartedly and within a few minutes, the pair was at the edge of the forest. It was funny to see someone dressed so maturely and in such nice shoes alongside nature. Pakunoda took her shoes off, mindful of them, and headed right into the woods as Gon followed behind. The first thing he noticed about their adventure was how silently the tall woman moved. He watched, the first itch of wonder in his head, as she hopped easily over fallen logs and meaningfully scanned the woods as she looked around. They were going about the perimeter of the grounds before venturing a little deeper to the north of the camp, stopping every so often to look. The forest was comprised of mossy cedars, their bark dark and fading into the misty distance. Bright green bushes stood waist high in every direction and clearings, where they were, had inches thick of wet fallen leaves. It made for a healthy forest, for sure. It was wet like the coastal ones Gon was used to, but so much older looking. Debris was left untouched and fallen logs eased into his footsteps, saturated with water and teaming with life that scattered away from Gon’s shoes. Their feet touched cool moss and the sound of a stream bubbling could be heard nearby. The duo set their efforts to finding water. Pakunoda found it within moments and waved Gon over. 

“You seem really comfortable out here, Pakunoda.” Gon noted as he crested a knoll and saw the woman already at the stream’s side. She tilted her head, out of a slip of sunlight, and returned his comment.

“As do you, Gon. Did you grow up near the woods?”

“Yup! But it was totally different from this one,” he answered. “I’ve never heard the bird calls out here before..! Ah, but it’s very pretty.” He joined her at the stream’s side and watched the bugs hovering about them occasionally land on the shore before taking off again. As they enjoyed the quiet, Gon noticed a patch of waxy green leaves and bright red berries. He pointed it out and to his surprise Pakunoda stood to pluck a few. Surprising him further, she washed them in the stream and popped one into her mouth before flicking another to Gon.

He hesitated only a moment before chewing up the minty but insipid berry. The minty taste tickled his noise and smelled a lot like an antiseptic. His wide eyes must have given away his surprise and Pakunoda allowed herself to laugh before speaking again. “That was a wintergreen berry,” she explained. “The berries smell fantastic- reminds you of the holidays, doesn’t it?” Gon nodded, breathing out and tasting the cool spice. 

“You can brew the leaves to make a tea that helps with headaches,” continued the woman, “but you must be careful. Eating the leaves raw can give you a terrible stomachache.” She ate another berry as she returned to the boy’s side. “And, if made correctly, you can kill with a very small amount of the oil.” She looked to Gon just as the boy turned to her. Maybe she was expecting a different reaction.

“How small of an amount?” he asked, jumping when Pakunoda covered her lips and guffawed at his question.

“Gon, you don’t have someone you want to kill, do you?” 

The boy shook his head but pressed on. “No! But really, how little?”

Pakunoda did him one further and explained how essential oils were extracted, at least for the wintergreen plant, and held up a finger at the end. “It’s very useful to help aches and sore joints- so if you ever find some in your possession...” she reached forward, opening her hand and patting him on the head. “You be a good boy and measure its worth in what it does to heal. Understand..?” 

Gon’s mouth opened in thought before he nodded slowly. He couldn’t see himself being so careless with such a dangerous thing. Even if he did come upon some, surely he would hand it off to someone more befitting of it. 

“Pakunoda you know a lot about the woods,” noted Gon as he toyed with a pebble on the shore. “And you look very comfortable here. Why is that?”

The blonde pointed through the trees to a shy little bird she had noticed. It preened its wings just before taking flight, taking to the earth so it could pluck a wintergreen berry for its meal. “I grew up around nature as a child.” she explained, “Though I was much more reliant on it for survival then than I am now. Quite honestly, I’ve forgotten much of what I once knew. That’s what happens to knowledge when you don’t use it, I’m afraid.” 

Gon hummed worriedly. “I’m always forgetting things..! I hope I don’t forget about home.”

“Home? You’ll be back so soon, Gon. You won’t forget home that easily. It’s something you can’t shake.” 

When they finally left the forest, the two were down right ravenous. Their jaunt through the woods turned into a dash for lunch, Pakunoda trotting easily with long strides as Gon ran to keep up the pace. He looked up to the other with admiration, glad she had agreed to let him tag along once more some other time. She had called him a good helper, when they were on the edge of the forest, and he warmed at the title. 

Gon stopped to take a drink of water from a barrel after waving goodbye to Pakunoda; lunch could wait a moment longer. They were remarkably late and the open tent had almost been completely cleared out. All that was left was a few laborers drinking coffee, Pakunoda on her way out with the end of a bread loaf, and Hisoka.

Hisoka, that is, scrubbing a pan with his bright red hair tied out of his face with a bandana. He was elbow deep in a large pot that was used for stews, rag thrown over his shoulder, and plain outfit spotted with soapy water. His ribbed undershirt was tucked into a pair of cotton drawers, held up with some twine. It was a bit lewd for him to dress like that in the open and Gon had a feeling he actually had to put on more clothes just to head outside. Scrubbing away to the side of what little was left from Franklin’s lunch, Hisoka perked his head up when Gon’s plate scraped against the serving table on his way to a helping of vegetable stew. The boy’s lips twitched when they made eye contact and all ideas about sharing his triumph to Hisoka disappeared from his mind. He knew he had something he wanted to ask as well but it was gone in a puff of smoke. Instead, he went with his gut. Which was famished. 

“Ah, Hisoka?” Gon started brightly. “What’s in the stew today?”

Rinsing his hands and stepping away from the dishes, Hisoka put one hand on his hip and stared into the very bottom of the last pot available. “For you... Not much.” 

Gon whined and realized why Pakunoda left with the bread she could find. His hands were clamped around an empty bowl and he frowned heavily, not certain he would want watered down gravy for lunch. 

“You’re welcome, by the way,” purred the magician as he toweled off his damp face. Gon stared, blank and confused, up at the man before he was spoken to once more. “Your chores..?” 

Then it clicked, brightening Gon’s face and stirring a feeling deep in his stomach. Hisoka is the one who took over Gon’s duties that morning, which is why Pakunoda said he wouldn’t be in his tent. Flushing a deep red that he didn’t thank the other sooner, or make the simple connection, Gon twiddled with the front of his own undershirt and started to speak when Hisoka chuckled under his breath.

“You had a good morning, right?” Gon nodded and Hisoka smiled sweetly. “Good~ That’s all the thanks I will need.”

Gon’s stomach growled loudly in punctuation and the man laughed once more to himself. “You might owe me for this one, though...” He reached under the serving table, which was a plain wooden table with tarp thrown over it, temporarily eye level with Gon. Hisoka playfully fished under the table, eyes flitting about before he completely ducked under it. When Hisoka reemerged he looked disappointed, hands empty and raised beside his head. Gon had just a moment to copy Hisoka’s downcast expression when the magician lived up to his title. 

After a flick of his wrists,a jar of spread appeared in one hand and a thick cut of bread in the other. Hisoka smiled and brought the treats down before Gon, who was beside himself at the illusion. He reached out and touched them as if to make sure they were real. Taking the loaf and spread, Gon let his plate go untouched as the man picked it up and sorted it away. The jar had no label so Gon had to guess by the look alone. He was tilting it over and over in his hands when Hisoka returned and hopped up onto the table, looming over the boy. Gon looked up and held the jar out as he kept the cake of bread close.

“What’s this one, Hisoka?” he asked.

“That’s fig, I believe. I bought it for myself before we left your town,” he answered, grinning as Gon’s face lit up. “You must like figs to make that expression. Ah, but don’t forget, you owe me this time.”

Gon blinked up at him and asked immediately what was owed. He wanted the two of them to be square, after all. The magician made a sharp noise in his throat and closed his eyes. “Lunch. With. Me. Tell me about yesterday. Someone told me you had a run in with a wild beast..? I urged them to stop as I much prefer to hear it from the source.” 

Gon had no complaints and even though he had to wait for Hisoka to clean up the very last of lunch he bounced in place, excited to finally share what he had been up to. Once finished the man plucked an apple from a crate and made it over to the other side of the table where Gon was standing. Hisoka nodded to a seat but Gon jumped with a better idea. 

“Pakunoda and I explored the forest today! We could eat there.” Gon pointed out to the woods and beamed up at the other. He expected a joyful return, but there was none. Hisoka looked into the distance coolly, as if staring down a predator. Gon turned to match his gaze but saw nothing where Hisoka was looking. When he turned back there was a smile on Hisoka’s face, eyes closed in content slits. 

“Not too far~ Let’s stay close to the circus,” suggested the magician as a clawed hand pat Gon on the head. “I can’t bare to wait longer for your story.” Gon gave in, though he really wanted to take Hisoka all the way down into the creek and maybe tell him about the wintergreen berries Pakunoda had talked about. The disappointment was short lived and Gon too found he was struggling to keep all his observations in. They retreated to a fallen cedar just within sight of the fairgrounds. Hisoka cut away at the bland cake, spreading fig over it and reminding Gon to chew before swallowing. The boy leapt through the wild flowers as he described Killua, dropping to all fours when explaining his run in with Trigger, and finally standing stiff as a board when mentioning Killua’s bizarre older brother.

“Ah, Illumi is giving you a hard time?” Hisoka piped up, intrigue on his face, “...I’m not surprised. As an outsider you will never win him over.”

,Gon relaxed his pose and looked to Hisoka dejectedly. “Outsider?”

“Non-Zoldyck, I should say,” the magician corrected, screwing the spread’s lid on tightly. “He’ll never treat you kindly but you can train him to treat you with fairness.” Gon’s ears perked up in the same way he did when Pakunoda said wintergreen was deadly. Hisoka must have seen this strange interest as he beckoned Gon to his side on the cedar. Gon joined him quickly and sat close as Hisoka took out his apple and the knife he had used to cut their bread. Carefully he divided the fruit into sections and took one for further carving. He cut a V shape into the skin and cut away until the red skin arched back over fleshy white like the end of a ribbon. He cut those spines back until they could be lifted away like tiny ears. Complete, Hisoka ate the extras off his blade as he held the slice up for inspection. Gon made a soft noise.

“It looks like a rabbit.” 

Hisoka made an amused hum and leaned back with regard, “Very good Gon~ Yes, this is what Illumi calls an apple bunny.” To illustrate this point, Hisoka held it out and hopped it through the empty field. Giving the slice to Gon, he began carving the others until they had an entire hutch of rabbits on their hands. One by one they ate the sweet slices until nothing was left. Gon tossed the stem and seeds into the woods as Hisoka further explained how this would ease Gon and Illumi’s strained interactions.

“I’m sure I learned it from him. He must have eaten them often as a child because he used to feed them to Kalluto and Killua when they were much younger,” the magician crooned, looking towards the fair grounds calmly. 

Gon ‘oh’d softly and a question popped into his mind, “So you’ve known Illumi for a long time?” As if caught in the middle of something, Hisoka turned back to Gon with an expression of veiled alarm. 

“I have,” purred the man, “before Killua was even old enough to travel with him.” Hisoka wiped the sticky knife off on his pants and hummed “If you set those bunnies aside for his lunch, it will make an impression on Illumi. We had a row several years ago and those bunnies brought us back to speaking terms.”

Gon smiled to himself. If Hisoka, who had known Illumi longer, was going to suggest apple bunnies, he should be a good sport and try. Cleaning off his fingers, Gon stood and waved for Hisoka to follow, but the man held a hand up and shook his head. 

“You run off. After today, it’s only one more before the big show~” He smiled. “You’ll cheer for Kalluto with me, I hope?” Gon tilted his head. “You will watch the show with me, won’t you?” Hisoka feigned a sad face and the boy jumped to agree.

“What?! Duh, of course!” Gon barked, sticking out a tongue.

Hisoka’s smile melted back into place. “Duh, of course,” he mimicked. “See you then, Gon.” 

His cheeks warmed from being teased and hearing his words parroted back, but Gon smiled and waved over his shoulder as he bounded back to the circus, returning to his afternoon chores as Hisoka stood and ventured into the woods for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last of this act. I will try for 25-30k words an act. If I achieve that then at 90k words this will be the 2nd longest work I've ever written. I certainly hope I can continue the 2nd act soon. Thank you so much for your support. I can't quantify your comments, suggestions, and critiques- they mean so much to me.


	6. END OF ACT 1 - Pick Up and Go

Though the earth was still hot from the sun beating down on it all day, Killua was finally up and able to play as the sky swelled to pink and began bleeding light into the evening. It was a day until their last show in town, this meant the air grew tense at every passing hour and was to go off like a bomb come the next evening. Gon had waited patiently at Killua’s side until the pale boy rolled awake, needing only one sleepy glance at his darkly tanned friend before springing to life and starting their chase through the tents. Gon had earlier tried to assign this day or the one before as his best ever at the circus so far, but he was beginning to think they were both good in their own ways. It would be left for dreamland, he decided, because at that moment Killua was two steps ahead of him and had called him a slowpoke. 

All around them their fellow troupe members were busy running through routines, hyper focused and unaware of the two lively boys slipping in and out of every tent in an animated game of tag. When their game evolved into vaulting leaps over obstacles and cartwheels on open patches of grass the duo decided to venture into the big tent to play through their own act. Mostly.

Gon didn’t have a part in the show so their playing didn’t exactly mirror reality. But when was play supposed to do that?

Tip-toeing a balance beam, Gon watched his footing carefully but went stiff as Killua sprung onto the other side. He was cat like on the beam, twisting at the waist and bending back to grab onto the wobbling beam, lifting himself to point his toes skyward. Gon, despite his ineptitude, tried the same but could not lift his feet from the beam just yet, and barely somersaulted before standing again, arms out to balance him as he did so. Killua mirrored his inexperience with a warbled cry, picking his feet up off the beam in a series of purposefully bad hops, until the pair was face to face.

“Don’t tease!” Gon smiled, locking fists with the other and attempting to throw Killua from the low beam. The Zoldyck gave just as good as he got and, as they struggled to remain upright on the bar, they curled their feet around it and bobbed up and down from the effort. Despite being much more at home on the bar, Killua was thrown off nearly as many time as he threw Gon. 

“When you can pretend to be bad, instead of just being bad,” Killua started, dodging a swat at those words, “we could do an act together! Like we stumbled on the beam by accident and start playing around.” It was a good suggestion, to Gon, and it immediately turned their play into a mini show with Killua and Gon both leaping on and off the balance beam, pratfalling and wailing as they pretended to be much worse than they really were. The two grew thirsty after several minutes of goofing around and Killua said their act had come to a close as the boys dashed from the big top to find something to drink.

Around the back of the big top, near a barrel of water, was the prop tent. As Killua drank from the water’s surface, Gon dipped his hands in it and ran them against his face as he peaked inside. Several pieces were missing since the others had taken them to practice with, but with room now to spare a light was on and inside the tent voices could be heard. 

Shalnark was dressed plainly and going through a routine on a tall steel bar, coming to a rest upside down with his knees over steel. Not many steps away sat Uvogin, peeling at an apple dwarfed by his enormous hands. Holding out a hand and waving, Shalnark grabbed the other’s attention and was tossed an unpeeled apple, but he threw it right back at Uvogin with much more force, arms crossing briefly before he whipped about to sit atop his bar. There was a heavy beat without movement before Uvogin stood slowly from his perched position, shoulders cocked back as he lurched towards the much smaller man in dead silence. Without a bellow or laugh from the strong man to ease the sudden tension, Gon felt a jolt of alarm punch at his throat.

“Whatcha looking at?” Killua asked from just out of Gon’s peripherals, leading the sunny boy to whip his head around and answer.

“Shalnark and Uvogin are in there practicing, but I think they’re mad at each other..!” he whispered worriedly and the words snapped Killua to his side, both looking into the tent nosily. Killua’s hands were gripped on Gon’s shoulders as he peered over them, but his hands loosened suddenly at what was seen.

Instead of a half-expected brawl, Uvogin stood before the blonde, hands on either side of Shalnark at the bar, as the two performers met lips and kissed with slow affection. Killua turned away immediately and covered his mouth, giggling at Gon’s initial reaction to the heated foreplay between the two. 

“Stupid, like those two would ever fight to begin with...” he muttered teasingly behind two hands, “don’t you know flirting when you see it?” Obviously not; and with the way Gon was staring he didn’t know anything about kissing either. 

He was captivated by the pair who soon parted and seemed to delight in performance as well. Shalnark took Uvogin by the shoulders and vaulted over his body, toes pointed up before he landed gracefully behind the strong man. Similarly, Uvogin took the blonde by the waist and hoisted him easily into the air above him, shifting his grip so that one hand held him up by the flat of his stomach where it met Uvogin’s palm. After a playful set of presses, Uvogin standing feet apart with a spare hand on his hip to show off, Shalnark was set back down and their canoodling continued. 

Gon could see echos of he and Killua’s playfulness in the adults’ own games, but there was a heat in his face that reminded him more so of the nasty liquor he drank the night before. More obviously, he’d never kissed, either, so the mysterious draw he felt in his stomach at the sight blanketed Gon with quiet uncertainty. 

“What’s the matter?” Killua asked wryly, goosing Gon’s side with a biting pinch of his fingers and running off. He said something else but was too far off for Gon to hear, leading the two into another chase and leaving Uvogin and Shalnark their privacy. Once caught up, Gon forgot momentarily of what he saw as he and Killua chased each other through the tall grasses on the untouched side of the faire grounds. They played for a few minutes more, dueling with whips of grass, until interrupted. Illumi stood silhouetted between two tents at the edge of the beaten earth, calling out into the field.

“Killu, it’s late, we need to be practicing for tomorrow,” the eldest Zoldyck cried into the field, hands dropping to his side once done. Immediately the air changed and the boys let out big sighs, Killua’s eyes rolling as he resigned to a night of practicing with his brother. He waved his goodbye and dutifully trotted out of the grass before walking the rest of the way to his brother’s side. Illumi didn’t acknowledge Gon whatsoever and turned as Killua made it to his side, the pair leaving to practice with Kalluto for the evening.

As soon as Killua disappeared behind a tent, Gon made his way back into the little circus city and decided to get another drink of water before bed. It was on his way that the fresh memory of Uvogin and Shalnark came back, licking heat onto his face as if he stood too close to a fire. 

Visions of what he watched played over and over, passively running through his mind’s eye and the paranoia of it broadcasting out of his head through magic had Gon in a tizzy. Of course no one could see into his head, but he worried still. After getting something to drink Gon headed to Killua’s unoccupied bed for his shift sleeping. As rewarding as it felt to dissect what he saw, Gon eventually did fall asleep.

Dreams went unremembered on an empty stomach, but he did wake up the morning of the big show feeling the ripples of uncomfortable, cloying images. Through breakfast and laundry, Gon was working with vigor to chase the strange thoughts from his head and they eventually fell away to his chores. Gon was able to work with peace of mind from then on out. After his meeting with everyone the day before, a dam broke and he was suddenly invited to help out all over the place. To his delight Gon was bouncing all over the place, and the usual lull between lunch and Killua waking up was gone in a flash. 

He barely had time to greet him before Killua was off to the autograph tent. Gon still couldn’t believe there were so many people who wanted to meet him and his family. Until the circus came to town, Gon had never even heard of a Zoldyck before. Of course the people who attended this pricey circus didn’t share the crowd with Gon and his kin; the idea that meeting a Zoldyck then was a luxury confused the boy further. 

Perhaps it was their unmatched beauty, combined with their acrobatic skill, that drew crowds of grown men and women to their tent. Though it made Gon laugh that other people thought of his prankster friend as ‘beautiful’ he couldn’t deny Killua’s parents were model material. Killua had a folded up photo of his entire family pinned to the wall, and whenever he told stories he’d point out who was who. Gon could see where Illumi and Kalluto got their looks from, even though the photo was dated and Kalluto was only a baby, he felt his throat tighten at the thought of Killua growing to be as big as his father.

Just as Gon hopped out after Killua, the youngest Zoldyck appeared, still in his usual performance garb. 

“Kalluto! Where’s your new outfit..?” Gon asked, calling the boy’s attention. The Zoldyck in question smiled and covered up his smile before trotting over. 

“Shh. Shh,” he murmured, glancing about before grinning at Gon “Look..!” With that he pulled up one of his sleeves and revealed a tight glove of black and white harlequin. He immediately covered the pattern again and jumped when the door to Illumi’s trailer opened, the oldest Zoldyck burdened by an armful of roses in white, yellow, and pink. 

He called to his little brother and turned in the direction that Killua had left. Gon barely had a chance to delight in the sneak peek when Kalluto was running off as well. The whirlwind of that day continued.Catching a breath was impossible. Especially when it became possible.

As soon as he was alone and took a deep, steady breath, a familiar rumbling laugh brought up everything Gon had tried to chase away. Gon froze in place and grew warm at the sound of Uvogin congratulating Nobunaga on his retirement of sorts. Choosing to walk far away from the ruckus, Gon turned and walked right into Hisoka. 

Hisoka was in the top to his magician’s outfit, his white trousers swapped out for black with a matching hat, and opted not to wear the victorian collar Gon had seen him in before. His long face was painted with a star and teardrop of a quality much higher than what could be found at the face painting booth of the circus. Smiling down at Gon, Hisoka offered a polite bow before encouraging Gon to do the same.

“That’s a good boy.” He praised, “It’s the big show, you must be well behaved for all our lovely guests.” 

Gon smiled with just the corner of his lips and looked down at his messy outfit sheepishly. Well, he did his best. It was an outfit of Killua’s, something well worn but dressed up with a belt and buttons, and departure from the rags Gon usually marched around in. Hisoka laughed softly and ruffled the boy’s hair before moving to stand at his side. 

“The seats will be completely full tonight, we will be sitting somewhere else instead.”

Gon looked curiously up at those words as they walked towards the back of the big top, among all the other performers and laborers. Hisoka didn’t say anything more but he did look distracted, staring off to the side of their path. Gon followed this line of sight and saw a truck idling with several laborers holed up in the back. Just as he caught sight of Chrollo speaking to the driver he was cut off by Hisoka taking a sharp turn and standing in the way. Gon was promptly ushered into the tent from the back entrance where Hisoka lead him under the audience bleachers. The wood beams creaked as seats were taken and the light filtering down sparkled in and out of sight by the shuffling guests overhead. Hisoka had to walk along the tarp wall in order to accommodate his height as Gon marveled at all the fallen treasure on the floor. Once they popped into a gap between two of the tall structures Gon could see the ring without any obstructions. Children peered down from either side of the stadium seats curiously as Gon felt Hisoka step up behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw both Hisoka’s face and those of the children above. Hisoka leaned down and spoke in that raspy voice of his, lined eyes closing. 

“I’ll put you on my shoulders so you can see better.” He likely only said so to not alarm Gon when picking him up off the dirt floor. Gon gawked and spread his legs so that Hisoka’s head fit between them, hat and all. The man held him safely in place by the ankles, pulling on Gon’s legs like suspenders and once the boy was comfortably balanced he smiled at the spectacular view Hisoka’s added height gave him. Gon voiced his thanks but after the telling shake of a laugh in his shoulders Hisoka fell silent. The show wound on as usual but Kalluto and Nobunaga’s act together was missing, building Gon’s anticipation. The handsome Chrollo returned to the center of the ring after a round of applaud for Kurapika’s act, a signal usually meant for the middle of the show but coming a bit too early. 

“Tonight we have a special reveal,” the ringmaster spoke in a voice so well carried it was as if he stood right before Gon. “You’ve seen the unique beauty of Illumi Zoldyck and the youthful vigor of his brother Killua but this evening, for the first time ever, I have the pleasure of introducing every Zoldyck in our troupe performing together.” His arms opened wide as he stepped aside for a shuffling of equipment. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Illumi, Killua, and Kalluto Zoldyck!” 

Gon’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped as the two older brothers ran out from the opening of the tent followed by Kalluto in an outfit of black and white harlequin. He wore a leotard of that fabric with elbow length gloves. At his hips sat the signature Zoldyck roses, in white, with a bustle of black tulle. Gon felt his cheeks warm, surprised by the provocative switch from a yukata to this. The show continued and Gon watched a routine he’d seen the trio perform before during practice, but he felt an especially harsh tightness in his chest while watching the gorgeous brothers perform. He remembered to breathe when Hisoka suddenly took in a breath, as if he too had forgotten to breathe. When the show finished Hisoka crouched down and from his shoulders hopped Gon. When they stood back to full height Gon shook his head, a familiar wonder tickling his brain as if watching the circus for the first time. 

Hisoka whistled over the noise of the crowd leaving, lips pulling into a smile after. “Those Zoldycks are... something special.” Gon nodded in agreement. “Now that the big show is over you had better run and pack... Unless you want to enjoy the festivities.” Gon shook his head. He’d seen it once before when the troupe left his home town and after his recent hangover Gon wasn’t sure he’d be able to even look at alcohol for a while. There were all sorts of coins lost under the bleachers, which Hisoka himself picked up a few of, and when they popped out on the other side near the exit Gon was certain they had nearly two jenny. That was enough for lunch or a couple of candy bars. Enough of a treat for that evening, Gon received a pet on the head and was shooed off just as a truck came around the tent city with a growl of rubber on gravel. He was curious but remembered the Zoldycks waiting and dashed off. 

As much fun as it was to celebrate, everyone was busy breaking down the inside of their tents or trailers, many opting to sleep in the open on bed rolls so as to enjoy the night air. Gon saw Uvogin drinking from his tin of alcohol, sweat from the big lights still running down his face as he sat among many of the other laborers. Gon thought about sitting with them too, of course skipping a sip of the swill passed to him as a drink. He headed towards the Zoldyck compound and was surprised to see the lights off. Normally they headed right back- but it immediately occurred to Gon that they were probably returning their performance props. Gon headed into the trailer he shared with the younger set of brothers and began fastening their belongings down for transport that next day when the door swung open, revealing Killua with a red, angry face.

“Illumi is trying to get us to do our stupid act together again..!” grumbled the young Zoldyck as he furiously stuffed old clothes into a knapsack. Having not seen each other since the previous night meant Killua dealt with an extra dose of his oldest brother without a single break to vent at Gon. Every time it happened he had something to say about the bizarre Zoldyck brother, and every time Gon was more confused about what Illumi was like. For someone so concerned about his brothers’ wellbeing he sure was oblivious to the degree in which he smothered them. 

“I told him he should perform with Kalluto now that he is able to perform with us- But Illumi-!!We don’t share any abilities, he just wants an excuse to spend more time with me!” Killua hissed his last words out with added effort, pausing before tearing into Illumi again, “and it’s all because I said we could have a fun act!” At the word ‘we’ Killua gestured between himself and Gon, hands thrown into the air with disbelief, “How can he say his creepy act would better mine..? It’s just him being a big brat!!” Gon sat quietly and listened with his mouth slightly open, knowing it was better to say nothing until Killua finished, but he was surprised by the other’s words.

“You really want to do an act together?” Gon asked during a second of silence.

“Yeah dummy, the idea we had the other day was really good!” Killua replied with determination, “Hell, I bet we could even pitch it to Chrollo and then Illumi would have no choice but to help teach you the balance beam and tight rope..!” Killua rubbed his hands together menacingly as Gon looked towards the ceiling. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to spend a lot of time with Illumi, what with Killua’s constant complaints, but he did want to perform with his friend. 

“What’s wrong? I promise, so long as I’m there, my brother won’t do anything.”

“No, it’s not that,” Gon started, looking back towards his friend, “Not entirely- I was just wondering...Why don’t Uvogin and Shalnark perform together?” Killua gave a shake of disbelief.

“I don’t know, why should they?” 

“Well because they... They’re really close, right? Couldn’t they teach each other?”

“Just because they kiss well doesn’t mean they work well,” Killua said shortly, “if everyone who worked together also fucked then this circus would be even more of a freakshow...” Gon’s brows furrowed but he remained mum. Killua’s potty mouth was disarming and Gon quickly fell into silence, the pair packed up. There was a lot of work to do the next day so in a matter of minutes both boys were in bed and asleep, scratching together a few hours of rest before being woken by movement all around them as the tent city came down. 

Killua was ushered about by his protective older brother, forced to hide in a truck cabin with a sheet over his head, sensitive eyes squeezed shut to block out the sun as the circus began to move. In the meanwhile, Gon was busy going tent to tent helping where he could until running into Hisoka as he was rolling up heavy tarps to be carried onto a trailer. He looked different without makeup or his usual fancy outfits, almost less approachable dressed down, but Gon lingered close and hoped for the other’s good favor. 

At first Hisoka didn’t notice Gon; he was busy thatching a rolled up tent together at one end to keep it from unraveling, but upon looking up and seeing the boy meandering just outside of reach, he waved Gon over. 

Hisoka’s hair was combed back out of his face, held in place by a news cap that matched his dark cotton pants. Gon held onto his own suspenders absentmindedly as he came over, smiling out of reflex when Hisoka’s content expression melted onto his face. 

“Good morning, Gon.”

“Morning,” he replied, toes curling nervously in his shoes, “can I help?”

Hisoka smiled pleasantly and nodded, “So kind of you to offer. Will you help me bind the tents?” They would be the only two dedicated to the task, but that worked out fine since the circus went down in sections, sweeping across the field smoothly. Already some of the others had left, namely Chrollo, the Zoldycks, and Kurapika with his animals. They had gone just as the sun was emerging over the trees, off to begin making camp at their next faire ground. As each truck was packed, hitched with a trailer, and cleared to leave, it drove off the grounds in a cloud of dust, leaving the dwindling members to finish up. 

As for Gon and the magician, their task was hard but made easy with team work. Instead of chasing after corners that folded or tucked under themselves in the wind, Hisoka assigned Gon to see the tents laid flat so that he could roll up them up with relative ease. Similarly, Gon’s small arms could get under the rolls as Hisoka lifted them and he was quick to pick up each of the knots Hisoka showed him. There were knots for securing the tightly wound fabric as well as ones to fasten them to the trucks and trailers. A few times the two found themselves with no tents to shuffle around so they could stop and rest, much to Gon’s relief. 

“You do this every time?” he wheezed between gulps of water, using his shirt to wipe at his brow after slipping off his suspenders.

“Every time.”

Gon heaved his shoulders and let his head fall back as they rested in the shade. “It’s hard!” he yelped, twisting to look at Hisoka with amazement. 

The magician, who was leaned against an empty cage, blinked slowly and matched gazes, though his was pointedly more gratified than Gon anticipated. “It’s not so hard this time. After all, aren’t you trying your very best for me?” 

A lick of heat, like the tongue of a happy dog, marked Gon’s cheeks and he grinned into his cup of water as Hisoka turned back towards the rest of the camp, enigmatic smile on his bare face. Gon thought of peeking into the equipment tent a few nights prior and of Killua’s words before bed; whether or not working and living well together were mutually exclusive. When another tent went down with a fluttering flop against the dry earth it was he and Hisoka’s cue to continue. 

It became apparent later on that Hisoka’s job would leave him last on the grounds, he drove a final truck with only the most unnecessary cargo in tow that needed no tent, as well as his own belongings. When it was only a handful of people left, Gon took a head count and saw that Shalnark and Uvogin lingered behind as well. They were sitting on a barrel of nasty circus ale and seemed packed up but in no rush to leave. By that point the sun was already slipping back down the trunks of the tall trees around them, ushering nightfall. As Gon sat on the back of Hisoka’s designated truck, the magician stopped by the last of the company and made certain of their plans. Making his way to the back, Hisoka nodded for Gon to follow after him and into the truck’s cabin. 

As they drove down the camp ground road Gon glued himself to the window when he noticed one last truck staying behind. No one was in the cabin that he could see so he bobbed about for a better angle until they drove past the truck bed and saw the very last of the troupe. 

“Don’t worry about them,” Hisoka assured, golden eyes on the road as Gon saw Shalnark easing into the Uvogin’s lap, their shirts undone and Uvogin’s hands dug deep into the blonde’s pants, pulling their bodies together. Cups of alcohol sat atop a barrel to the side and many of the things once packed in the truck bed had been scattered onto the ground to make room. Brown eyes grew wide and only after it was too late did Gon look away. What was once the warm affections of a puppy dog became the burning, gnashing heat of a beast’s jaws through Gon’s stomach. 

“They wanted some privacy,” continued the magician, “we’ll see them in the morning.” Gon knew Hisoka couldn’t have possibly seen what the two men were doing, but for once there was a readable expression on his face.

“What are you so happy about, Hisoka?” asked Gon in a genuinely curious tone, still on fire but focusing on what was going on in the cabin rather than out.

The magician shrugged, eyes glued to the road, and with a series of clicks he turned on the truck’s headlights. “Can’t say. Aren’t you sometimes taken by the good of the world without warning?” Gon didn’t have words to answer, he wasn’t certain on the question, so he settled back in his seat and watched the landscape change. Hisoka turned on the radio so he could tune into small town talk shows, no matter the subject, and hummed at every revelation made by the crackling voices. 

It didn’t occur to Gon until later that their trip might be a long one. “How far away until we meet with the others?” asked the young man long after night had choked the very last light from the sky, no moon in sight. Hisoka turned the radio down and answered.

“We will have to stop and continue in the morning, it’s our longest trip all the way through until the winter, around ten hours.” That meant stopping for gas, eating, and eventually resting before finishing the trip. To do otherwise would be foolish after such a long day of work. 

“Do you usually make this trip alone, Hisoka?” Gon asked, fiddling with the dash vents so warm air washed over him.

“Usually. I don’t ask for company, these long drives are my vacation,” he smiled to his passenger.

Gon looked to the driver as if he’d offended him and yelped, “I can be quiet if you’d like!” 

Arched brows went up and Hisoka only smiled wider, “No no, we’re taking a vacation together, Gon. You deserve one just as much as I.” He turned the radio off and settled into his seat more comfortably before continuing, “Just as well, I enjoy idle chit-chat. Tell me, are you enjoying the circus?” 

From then on the younger passenger answered every question Hisoka had with enthusiasm, speaking mostly about what he’d learned and what he hoped to do. Though Hisoka rarely spoke himself he kept smiling, bare face showing the lines of his constant grin. Gon noticed every comment ended with another inquiry so he asked a question of his own after a while.  
Curling his knees into his chest, there being plenty of room on the truck’s wide seat, Gon turned and asked “How long have you been in Chrollo’s circus?” as he undid his suspenders and pulled his shirt over both knees.

“Ah... Good question,” the magician began, watching the other fend himself against a chill out of the corner of his eye, “Since you were too young to go to a show on your own, that’s for certain.” They were due for gas so Hisoka took them off the interstate and looked for a service station still open. While an attendant pumped their gas, the red head rummaged through his belongings in the back of the truck and Gon smiled as he spotted Hisoka with a blanket in the side mirror of his door. Rolling down the window as Hisoka pulled up beside him, Gon felt his cheeks warm as the other leaned into his window and held the blanket out for him to take. He lingered as Gon took it and got settled, golden eyes shooting over his shoulder at a buzzing drink dispenser.

“Soda?” he asked, to which Gon nodded, not certain of the last time he’d had one to drink. Once given his treat, Hisoka having bought himself a few sticks of gum, Gon watched the lights of the gas station disappear as they returned to the interstate. With Hisoka’s blanket to keep him warm Gon felt the weight of the day begin dragging him to sleep and, as Hisoka switched the radio back on, the fuzzy voices of late night dramas lulled him further into dreamland. With the thud of his unopened cola on the floor as it slipped from his hands signaling sleep, Gon became dead to the world and missed Hisoka’s farewell before bed. 

When he woke, the truck was parked in a cove of tall trees, likely in some campground or a rest stop Hisoka had found during the night. Gon wasn’t sure the time or how far Hisoka had driven until stopping to sleep, but he knew he was freezing cold and that Hisoka had reclined on the bench seat of the cabin. His hat was pulled over his eyes and a thin sheet had been draped over his bent knees. Hisoka’s toes were wedged just under Gon’s blanket and, were Gon to move, the other could lay almost completely flat. The sun wasn’t out but the cool light of dawn neared since Gon could make out silhouettes of the trees from within the dark cabin. 

In the quiet of the night Gon looked about, spooked by the atmosphere, and withdrew into his cold blanket all too aware of the temperature to sleep peacefully. He unbuckled his seat belt to see if that might help but it was of no luck. Shifting about meant Hisoka’s leg slid between Gon and his seat and triggered the man to recline further in his sleep. Gon looked over and imagined it impossible to move Hisoka’s legs so he stood hunched in the cabin and let the other lay flat completely before attempting to make himself comfortable atop Hisoka’s body. 

It was a good thing he was so much smaller, no worry of their knees matching up and hitting awkwardly. Gon placed his head against the other’s broad chest, curling up so his legs could lay comfortably against the other’s shins, and secured his blanket over the both of them. Indeed, Hisoka’s body was warm and acted as a great defense against the cold air of the cabin, but since being roused Gon had trouble completely stilling his mind for bed. In fact, he was incredibly distracted. Thinking about the day prior he wondered where everyone else was sleeping that morning, especially Uvogin and Shalnark.   
As he last saw them left Gon with no reason to suspect the pair wasn’t similarly coupled, resting atop one another in a tangle of limbs. His face burned thinking of them kissing and he curiously looked up at the face of his sleeping companion. Bad idea, in retrospect. Hisoka’s features looked cut in stone with how still and somber they were. Gon, having never been so close before, spent a great deal of time admiring as best he could in the heavy blanket of night. Hisoka’s face was fuzzy in the darkness so he reached up to feel, poking his cheek and half expecting it to be rock hard, but was pleased to feel it was soft. His nose was cold, his temples warm, and his lips dry but full of give. 

Curiosity took the rap for Gon’s bad decisions, including this one. Unable to get the images completely from his head, the boy scooted up a little and lifted his head to kiss Hisoka on his thin lips. Just a peck wasn’t good enough because Gon didn’t believe it authentic to what he saw between Uvo and Shal. Shifting onto his stomach, knee dug between Hisoka and the seat for leverage, Gon scooted up and kissed his sleeping lips, wetting his own a beat after and then kissing again. He felt warm doing so. 

After a combination of being crawled on, moved, and kissed, it was no surprise that Hisoka did wake up, hazy and bringing both his arms about Gon to squeeze the gumption out of him. Squawking with surprise as he was grabbed, both of Gon’s hands went to Hisoka’s collar and he pushed himself up and away from the lips he’d been kissing. Looking down he saw colorless eyes pointed up at him in the foggy light available, a smile spreading on Hisoka’s face. Maybe he was still sleepy for doing so, but Hisoka licked his lips before speaking.

“I think you should let me sleep, we still have a lot of driving today,” he murmured calmly. Gon’s face burned like it did before, this time out of embarrassment and he nodded wordlessly. 

“Say, you’re clever for sharing a blanket, we’ll be much warmer now,” the magician praised. With that Hisoka leaned back, rolled his shoulders and closed his eyes again, arms crisscrossing Gon’s back over the heavy blanket. Nearly dead from shame, Gon curled up under the other’s chin and closed his eyes, sleeping only after abandoning thought to the rhythmic rise and fall of Hisoka’s breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My life has gotten pretty complicated and I'm super busy with a fellowship. I don't want this to end up being something I can only work on for a little bit at a time buuuuttt so it goes.


End file.
